冒牌天神（中英对照）
my tiny little nipples 二奶
冒牌天神（中英对照）
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冒牌天神（中英对照）
- Ally, can we get
a recap? - -埃莉，能再说一次吗？
They want to set a record by making Buffalo's largest cookie.
他们想打破巴甫洛最大的曲奇的纪录。
- You have to wear this. - A hairnet?
-你一定要戴上这东西。-这发罩？
Health Department. If
you're around the cookie, you have to have it on.
为了公共卫生。你想要接近那曲奇你就得遵守规矩。
I just did the hair.我才做了这发型。
The hair is perfect.多好看。
For three decades, the Kowolski Bakery has been a mainstay in downtown Buffalo, known for their
sinfully sweet,
cream-filled Polski pierogies and the
occasional sugar-induced coma that follows. Today, in honor of their 30th anniversary,
they've invited us to ride along as they go
for the record on Buffalo's biggest cookie.
三十年以来，科洛斯基自助餐厅一直都是巴甫洛中心的神话，他们以香甜美味的波兰式曲奇闻名，他们的饼令人再三回味。今天，在他们的三十年店庆典礼上，他们邀请我们一同见证他们将打破巴甫洛最大的曲奇的纪录。
Vol. Do you need a tissue or something?
Vol，要纸巾吗？
Can we get Vol a tissue? Or a spoon?
你要张纸巾吗？还是要个勺子？
I wouldn't want any stray hairs to
fall into the
以免我的头发掉在这破玩意上。
Well, man from Health Department say he find rat
pellet in our
这样的，卫生局的人来说他们在我的奶油里发现死老鼠。
But I say no, is big
我说：那不是，那是一大块巧克力。
But he shut store down.但他还是封了铺。
Well, I admire your candor.嗯，你还真坦白。
The previous record was 8 feet 7 inches, baked by Gladys Pelsnick.
现在的纪录是直径8英尺7英寸，是克拉丽斯所创造的。
If this cookie beats that, it will prove the Kowolskis have much more free time.
如果这块曲奇能比克拉丽斯的大，那就能证明科洛斯基家族会有更多的空闲时间。
Cue the cheesy inspirational music!
来段破纪录的音乐！
But what are we really looking at here?
但是在这里你所发现的是什么？
Is it just a big cookie?
只是一个大曲奇吗？
Or does this cookie represent the pride of Buffalo?还是一个巴甫洛的骄傲的象征？
Its hard-working citizens the key ingredient 以市民勤劳和忘我工作为主材料，
with a few nuts thrown in.加上两块“傻瓜”。
And finally, the
love of our families,
最后，再加上家庭的爱，
which provides the warm center,
温暖的亲情，
making our beloved Buffalo the sweetest
place to live.
令我们所爱的巴甫洛成为一个宜人居住的地方。
And that's the way the cookie crumbles.
曲奇也是这样制成的。
Nolan, Eyewitness
这里是布鲁斯·诺兰直击新闻。
So what do you think?觉得怎样？
It sucks. It's a story about a cookie.
讨厌极了。一个曲奇的故事。
The Pillsbury Doughboy would be riveted.
我看起来像个傻子。
It made me
laugh. Nothing wrong
with making people
亲爱的，这很有趣，我都忍不住笑了。让人笑不好吗？
I'll never
be an anchorman. The
job's there, but I
can't reach it.
但这样我永远不能成为电视台的主持。就像这样，这位置伸手可触，但我就是得不到。
Every time they make
me do this kind of stuff I have to act
like a goof.
因为我老是在干这种事情，扮得像个傻瓜一样。
I have no credibility. Not good.
人们觉得我不可靠。这一点也不好。
- Now you just sound silly. - Forget it.
-你说这话才像个傻瓜。-算了。
It's not important. Let's watch it one more
time.这不重要，我们再看一遍。
No! Bruce. You promised to help me with this photo album.
不！布鲁斯，你答应过我会帮我整理照片的。
Now get your gooy butt over here.
把你那傻瓜的屁股摆这里来。
Just go through this stack and pick your
favorites.看看这一叠，把你最喜欢的挑出来。
Evan's going to get that anchor job.
埃文要成为主持人了。
How did you get that? That's supposed to be
in our private stash.
你在哪里找到的？这是我的私人珍藏。
- You look perky. Must have been cold. - Give it to me.
-没有穿衣服啊，一定很冷吧。-还给我。
Fine. Do with it what you will. I don't care.
好了，你想干什么随便。我不管了。
I might even send this in to Playboy.
我会把它送到《花花公子》去。
- Their layouts can
be quite tasteful. -
Give that to me right now!
-听说他们的封面很不错的。-马上还给我。
- Rough stuff. - I'm going to hurt
-专业打手。-我可要打你了。
The greatest anchors have a signature sign-off. Like Walter Cronkite.
每个台柱都有自己的口头禅，就华特克洛奇一样。
- Grace, the dog! - I'm in the shower!
-格雷丝,你的狗！-我在洗澡！
- What is the dillio?
- We are having a blood drive.-那是在干什么？-在搞献血活动。
- Needles. Yuck. - They need my blood.
-拿针扎人，讨厌。-他们需要我的血。
I have a very rare blood type. I'm AB positive.我的是小血性，AB+型。
Blood is supposed to
stay inside the body,
where it's meant to be.
血是应该在体内流动的，这才能叫血。
Besides, they stockpile this stuff in a warehouse, it's all on ice, and they say there's
a shortage.
但这些人，他们把血装起来再放到什么室里冻起来，然后他们就说缺血。
For your protection, I cannot discuss it.
但我今天不能跟你讨论这问题了。
Here. You need these more than I do.
给，你比我更需要这个。
Prayer beads. The kids made them for me.
护身符，一个小孩做给我的。
- They will keep you
safe. - I hope they're powerful.-能保你平安。-最好它真能带来奇迹。
I'm going to need a friggin' miracle to get to work on
time.否则我赶不及上班了。
Yup, meeting started without me.
好了，开会了，我赶不上了。
This is my luck.这就是我的命。
Is your child in dire jeopardy?
你的孩子正面临死亡的威迫吗？
Jack? Shouldn't we be
focusing on Pete's retirement?
杰克, 我们不是应该关注多点皮特的退休吗？
- This is his last
week. - Any word on the anchor position?
-这星期以后他就不做了。有没有说过主持的位谁坐啊？
Evan, when I know something, you'll know something.埃文, 我想到的事，你总能想到。
The sex scandal in the mayor's office for sweeps.
市长内阁的性丑闻事件。
I'm just messing with
you, Bruce.
我印象深刻，布鲁斯。
See, you just gotta remember that the newsroom is like a big cookie.
你要记住，新闻部就像一大块曲奇。
Do you like jazz, Evan? Let me play something for you.
埃文，你喜欢爵士乐吗？让我为你奏一曲。
- I can hold that note all day. - Knock it off,
-我可以给你看一整天。-伙计们，冷静点。
Bruce, We'll keep your story in
布鲁斯，你的报道我会留着后备。
-Great choice, Jack. The Cadillac of bolognas.
-OK. Thanks.
-有眼光，杰克，这些是最上等的。-谢谢。
Jack, hear me out. I'm starting to get desperate.杰克，你一定要帮帮我，我快要疯了。
I'm pushing 40 and what have I got to
show?我已经40了，我以后怎么过？
I've hit a kind of ceiling. There's an
anti-Bruce barrier I
can't get past.
我在这里已经变了一个傻瓜。我的前途有一个"反-布鲁斯"的牌子不让我通过。
This anchor thing opening up has got me
nuts.我太想成为台柱了。
Today is the 156th anniversary of the Maid
Of The Mist.
今天是“雾之少女”号的156周年纪念。
- I want you in Niagara Falls in an hour. - The Maid Of The
Mist is always
-我要你到瀑布里呆一个小时。-“雾之少女”号制造周年纪念？那就是直播了？
- Evan always does the live feeds. - Now you and Evan get the live feeds.
-埃文是干直播的人。-那你现在就是干直播的人。
Jack, you will not
regret this.
杰克，你一定不会后悔的。
And I won't forget you when I go national.
我出名后一定不会忘记你的。
Thanks, pal.谢谢，伙计。
Can I have your wish now? I'll put it in the wish jar.你的愿望星好了吗？放到这瓶里。
Don't put that in your mouth. That's paste,
honey.这是浆糊，不要放到嘴里去。
- That must have tasted awful. - Mommy!
-一定是很难吃的。-妈！
- See how nice this is? Baby on the hip. - It's amazing.
You've become
-看着多棒。抱着一个宝宝。-太棒了，你已经是“妈妈”了。
The transformation is complete.
成功转型了。
- Small Wonders Day Care. - Grace?
-小奇观托儿所。-格雷丝？
No. It's Debbie, the
sister whose life you're not wasting.
不，我是黛比，被你毁掉幸福的姐姐。
Debbie forgot to take
her meds today. Where are
you?别怪黛比，你在哪？
A little place called the winner's
一个叫“赢者之地”的旅游胜地。
I'm at the falls, doing a live report.
我在瀑布里，要做现场直播。
They're seeing if I can think on my
知道这是什么意思吗？我不用再靠人了。
Like I might have to
do in a live anchor
situation.我快要成为主持人了。
He didn't spell it
out. Legally, he can't.
对，他没有说出来，因为在程序上他不能说。
Well, honey, I just
don't want you to get too ahead of yourself.
但亲爱的，现在还不应该太高兴。
Part of the condition of us getting the exclusive.保持你一向的独家形象。
- They want you close to the falls. - I'm going to get soaked.
-他们向你接近瀑布。-那不就要湿了。
That's the point. They want you to put this on.正是这样，他们要你戴上这个。
Part of the condition of us getting the exclusive.保持你一向的独家形象。
You know what? Nothing can bother me today.
Nothing.知道吗？今天我么都不介意。
149 capacity. They cater to tourists, honeymooners...
有149个旅客。他们有的来度假，有的来度蜜月……
And people who are insanely thirsty. I get it.还有想来喝水的人，明白了。
Irene's mother rode on the maiden voyage.
艾琳的母亲参加过这船的处女行。
- Rub that in my
face!& -那可真令人吃惊！
Because of the fast response, the
chemicals were
cleaned up without incident. Susan?
由于快速行动，所有有毒物质在事故发生前已经撤走。苏珊？
But before we go
live to Bruce, we
have an announcement. As everyone knows,
after 33 years, our beloved Pete Fineman is retiring.
Pete's shoes are virtually impossible to fill, but
the show must go on. And we could think of no one better than
our very own Evan Baxter.
但在布鲁斯的直播前，我们有一则重要新闻。大家都知道，工作了33年，我们敬爱的皮特宣布退休。皮特已经不会再工作了，但他的节目会继续下去。没人能代替他的地位，除了埃文·巴克斯特。
- Congratulations,
Even. - I'm thrilled and
honored.-恭喜你，埃文。-我真是荣幸之至。
As you said, no one can replace Pete, but I
will do my best. I have to say that I
am so proud to be a
part of our local
community of
Buffalo. I think, in
a lot of ways, a great city is like a great recipe, really. You take hard-working
citizens, add some care-givers, maybe a few nuts! All sprinkled with the love and support of
our good families.
Ultimately, that makes one sweet
place to live.
谢谢，像你所说的，没人能代替伟大的皮特，但我会尽力的。我必须说，能成为巴甫洛的市民很荣幸。而我相信，一个伟大的城市就像一张伟大的菜谱。放点勤劳，加点团结，或许加几片“傻瓜”！所有这些再加上来自家庭的爱与鼓励，就炒成一道“甜蜜之家”。
Hey, wacky Bruce!嘿，怪人布鲁斯！
- What's going on? - A Walt Disney.
-怎么回事？-那个怪人。
- It's frozen solid. - Check the feed.
-他定格了。-检查信号。
- Talk, Bruce,
damn it. - Get ready to pull the plug.-说话啊，布鲁斯，该死的！-做好最坏打算。
First, let me just
add another congratulations to Evan Backstabber. Pardon me, Bastard... Baxter.
首先，让我再一次恭喜埃文·巴克斯特，应该是埃文大混蛋。
It is good to see what someone with
real talent can do
when great opportunities are given to them
instead of me.
让我们看看他有没有能耐应付。本来应该给我的好机会。
I guess that's how life is.这就是命吧。
Some people are
drenched, freezing on a stupid boat with a stupid hat, while others are in a news studio, sucking up the
有些人在冷得要命的船上等死，还要戴着这种讨厌的 帽子，而另外一些人就舒舒服服地呆在录影厂里领功。
Oh, well. No
big deal.噢，有什么大不了的。
Are my teeth not white enough? Or,
like the great falls, is the bedrock of my life eroding beneath me? Eroding!
还是我的牙不够白？还是，就像这大瀑布一样，我的命就得一生都得被踩吗？一生都得被踩！
That is the motivation that I needed!
这才是我需要的激励！
That's what that stands for!就这个意思！
Yeah, you better keep walking.
你们有种就别走。
That's what I get for trying to help
someone.这就是我帮人的报应。
That's my payment, I
我想这就是我的报应了。
That is my reward.我应得的。
Let's thank God. For his blessings are raining down upon
我们要感谢上帝吗？感谢他的祝福降临在我身上。
Everything happens for a reason.
凡事看开点。
That I don't need. That is a clich? That is
not helpful.这种陈词滥调对我没用，我不需要。
"A bird in the hand is worth two in the
bush."二鸟在林不如一鸟在手。
I see. So God is picking on you?
我明白了。你是说上帝是故意找你的碴？
No! He's ignoring me completely.
不是！他根本没有想到过我。
He's busy giving Evan everything he
他在忙着满足埃文！
Great, Sam. But you
missed your target. I'm over here!
你太棒了，萨姆，但你搞错目标了，我在这里！
Don't get mad at the dog. It's not his
又不是狗的错，干嘛冲他发火！
It's God's fault. He gave him the wrong co-ordinates.
对，是上帝的错，他把一切都搞乱套了。
Enough! Will you stop
being such a martyr?
够了，说的好像你壮烈牺牲了一样！
I am not being a
martyr! I'm a
我不是！我是个牺牲品！
God is a mean kid with a magnifying glass, and I'm the
上帝是个坏小孩，他坐在那里，手上拿着放大镜，我只是个小蚂蚁。
He could fix my
life if he wanted,
他想要我怎样就怎样，
but he'd rather burn
off my feelers and
watch me squirm.
可他却放任那个家伙对我为所欲为！
I'm not OK with a mediocre job! Or a mediocre apartment!
我讨厌我做的那些平庸的事情！我讨厌我住的这间平庸的公寓！
Is that what you think we have? A mediocre
我们在一起，也是平庸的生活？
Don't make this about you.
别把这件事情扯到你身上。
I'll have the worst
day of my life with a
side order of guilt, please!
今天是我一生中最糟的一天。请不要再让我有罪恶感了，行吗？
What should I do? Give me a signal.
我该怎么办？给我个信号吧。
I need your guidance, Lord. Please, send me a
sign.我要你的指引，给我指示吧。
All right.
Lord... I need a miracle.
好的，主啊……我需要奇迹。
I'm desperate.我很绝望。
The gloves are off, pal!手链已经脱掉了！
Come on! Let
me see a little wrath!
来吧，谴责我吧！
Smite me, O
mighty smiter!
毁灭我吧！你不是很厉害的吗？
The only one around here not doing his
job is you!你才是从来不做事的人！
Denied that promotion? Is life unfair?
升职被拒了吗？生活是不是很不公平？
Is someone less
talented than you reaping the benefits?比你差的人却抢走了本该属于你的一切？
So come on down or we'll just keep beeping you.
快来吧，不然我们会一直呼你的。
"Omni Presents."“全能的现在。”
You're looking for room 7.你要去7号房。
- Yeah, I figured. - Want me to even those
up for you?-是的，我想是的。-要我带你去吗？
- Out of order. - I love the stairs though.
The stairs were my second choice.
-电梯坏了。-但其实我也蛮喜欢走楼梯的，它是我的第二选择。
Do you mind giving me
a hand with this floor?
你能帮我清洁这一层吗？
I'm kind of busy.
Rain check.
我有点忙，留着我下次做吧。
I'll hold you to it.等你哦。
This looks promising.看上去很不错啊!
Another hug antic, gnostic waste of my
混帐东西，浪费我的时间。
I'm looking for
whoever runs this joint!
我在找这里的头头！
- You installed a
clapper? - No,
but catchy jingle,
-你装了声控装置？-没有，不过那首广告曲很好玩对吧？
This is hilarious.有意思。
He didn't mind rolling up his sleeves either.
他也不介意卷起袖子干活。
People underestimate
the benefit of manual labor. There's freedom in
人们常常会低估体力劳动的好处，这可是自由自在的。
Some of the happiest people smell to high heaven at the end of
那些工作一天后回到家里，满身汗臭的人们才是世界上最幸福的人。
I know a lot about you, Bruce.
我知道你的事情可多了，布鲁斯。
Everything you've ever said or done or thought about doing.
你说过的每一句话，做过的每一件事，心中转过的每一个念头，
Right there in that file cabinet.
都在那个文件柜里。
- Wow! A whole drawer, just for me. - Yeah.
-哇！我的整柜人生吗？-是的。
This last entry was a
disturbing.
最后一笔记录有点烦人。
I'm not much for
blaspheming, but that last one made me laugh.
我不怎么支持亵渎神灵，不过最后这条记录让我捧腹。
Thanks for the Grand Canyon. Good luck with
the Apocalypse.
谢谢你创造了大峡谷，希望你世界末日那天平安无事。
Anybody with a
brain stem can
只要是有脑子的人都看得出来这个柜子
is being fed through the wall from
the other side.
是从墙的反面弹出来的。
- Quite frankly, I'm
tired of it. - Don't come near me. Seriously.
-说实话，我快要受不了了。-别靠近我，说真的。
When I back in the curn, I would be a wild animal. I don't want to hurt you, but
I will out of
狗急可会跳墙的。我不想伤害到你，但这是我的本能。
You haven't won a fight since grade 5, and that was against a
你最后一次打架是在五年级，和一个女生。
But she was huge. She'd been held back.
但她很壮，最后退却的也是她。
And the sun was in your eyes.
你眼中的有的是太阳。
Ah, the ego.你很自以为事。
Anyway, I brought you here to offer you a
不管怎么说，让你来这里是有工作要给你做。
You think you can do it better, so here's
your chance.
既然你觉得你可以做得更好，我就给你这个机会。
When you leave this building, you will be
endowed with all
my powers.
当你离开这座大楼的时候，你会拥有我所有的神力。
Sure. Whatever you say, pal.
没问题，随你怎么说了，兄台。
OK. That did not happen. No one needs to hear about it. I'm having a breakdown. Everyday
psychotic episode, caused by a tumor, a brain lesion.
好了，什么都没发生过。没有人会知道这个。这是我的幻觉。我的精神状况一团糟，因为由肿瘤压迫大脑产生的幻觉。
Be careful what you
wish for, punk.
小心别许错了愿哦，笨蛋。
I am a reasonable, sane human being.
我是个理智的人类。
We have a special on soup today.
我们今天有特色汤点。
Having fun?很好玩吧？
Come. Take a closer
walk with me.
来，我们出去走走。
You left in such a rush, I didn't get a
chance to explain.是啊，你走得太快了，我还没来得及解释呢。
The two extra fingers freaked me out a
突然多出两只手指，吓得我要死。
I figured I'd get your attention.
我想我已经引起你的注意。
You have all
my powers. Use them
any way you choose.
你有我所有的神力，你可以以你选择的方式任意使用。
Believe me, you don't want the attention. And you can't
mess with free will.
相信我，你会为之后悔的。而且你不能干涉自主意志。
That's the beauty of it.这正是它的动人之处。
- This is amazing. - Speaking of
amazing, excuse me.-这太神奇了。-说到神奇，让让。
Since you're through with these, I'll keep them.
既然你不要它，我就先帮你保管。
Might come in handy
说不定某天会回到你手上的。
See you around, kid.回头见，小子。
- Where are you going? - I'm... taking a
-你要去哪儿？-我……去度假。
I'm covered. You can clear everything up in five minutes if you want.
而且我有你顶着，如果你高兴的话，5分钟就可以搞定。
Check it out. 看看。
- What’s up, homie? - Yo, brethren, what up with thee?-你还好吗？-诸位兄弟们，真是不走运啊！
- Blessings on your
alley. - Want another
can of whup ass?
-祝福降临到你们这条巷子里了。-你又活得不耐烦了吗？
Surely, I say unto you dudes, I do not wish
to fight.听好了，小子们，我并不想打架。
So as soon as you apologize and make a reckoning of your transgressions,
如果你们立即道歉，并且从此改邪归正，
I shall absolve you and continue
along the path of righteousness.
我就宽恕你们，大家各走各的路。
You talk kind of funny. I don't know if you
lost it up here or what.
你真的很有意思，不过我也真的不知道你的脑袋里是不是少了点什么。
What a coincidence! Because that's
实在是太巧了！因为那就是今天。
This is some voodoo shit!巫术!
Hey, little
anal-dwelling butt monkey.
屁股里蹦出来的的小猴子。
Time for you to go home.你该回去了，小朋友。
I am Bruce
我就是全能的布鲁斯。
My will be done!心想事成！
What if God was one of us Just a slob like
one of us,Why shouldn't I be? On a night like this.
如果上帝就在我们之中,是我们之中的一条懒汉,有什么理由不开心呢？在这样的夜晚里。
Those are amazing. What are these?
好漂亮！这是什么花？
A new breed. A cross-pollination between tulips and
这是新品种，由郁金香和雏菊杂交而成。
I call them todayzees.
我称之为郁金菊。
- I've never seen the moon that big. - Yeah.
-我从没见过这么大的月亮。-对。
shouldn't waste it.
我们可不能虚度了这迷人的月夜。
Let there be
light.来点烛光。
I'll be out in a minute!还有一分钟！
anticipation can heighten the pleasure!
有时候慢慢来反而会更有快感！……
In international news:现在报告国际新闻：
Japanese relief workers are staging an
effort to rescue hundreds of people stranded
by a freak tidal wave
that hit Kitamoto City.
日本救护人员正在抢救数百名被Kitomoto市的奇怪潮汐搁浅的游客。
Scientists say the tsunami may have been caused by what they are describing as
unusual lunar
activity. More on this as it develops.
科学家说这种海啸可能是由“他们所说的反常的月球运动”造成的。进一步情况有待了解。
- I made you grilled cheese. - My favi.
－我给你做了芝士三文治。－噢，我的最爱。
Darn. All this
horsepower and no room to gallop!
天呀，这儿有这么多车，没有路来飞！
I wouldn't want to be
a fugitive with Hank, Buffalo's number one police dog, on the
我肯定不想成为被Hank追捕的逃犯。巴甫洛警方的首席警犬正在演习。
Phil Sidleman at the police canine
training center, Channel 5 News.
这是菲莉·西蒙，正在警察的训练中心为你报道。这是第五频道新闻节目。
Look what the cat coughed up!瞧瞧这是谁呀！
- I had a bad moment. - What are you doing
-我那段时间很背运。-你来这里干什么？
This pond is all
fished out. Pretty standard stuff, anyway.这池塘的鱼都钓完了，无论如何请坚强。
I don't know. My instinct tells me
there's something more.
我不知道，我的直觉告诉我还有事发生。
Well, go with that.
It served you well in
the past, right?那就继续坚持吧，以前你的直觉也不错吧？
Seems to be in tune.
Let's do this.
就像个玩具，开工了。
The body of
Jimmy Hoffa was
uncovered in a field today
今天吉米·霍夫曼的尸体在一个操场被发现，
outside a canine training center in Buffalo, New
York.就在纽约巴甫洛的训练中心附近。
- Bruce Nolan was first on the scene. - Thank you,
-布鲁斯·诺兰是第一个到达现场的人。-谢谢, 简。
As you can see, the body is being
exhumed for transportation to a
facility where DNA can confirm the identity.
你可以看到我们身后, 尸体正在被小心地挖掘出来，将要被送去医疗机构进行DNA鉴定以确定身份。
That, however, merely
a formality at this
point, as the body
was found with a birth certificate and
dental records.
这次例行公事的演习，演变成了令人惊奇意外，人们在尸体旁边纪录取证。
I'd call that a
red-letter day for any canine unit.
这些对于任何警犬来说都是大的收获。
But was that enough for Hank? No,
但对于老Hank，这还远远不够, 真的不够。
Moments later, he busted a local news camera crew with 220
pounds of marijuana.
此后，警方在现场的一辆采访车上，发现了220磅的大麻。
I never saw it before! I swear!
之前我真的不知情！我发誓！
Good work. I'm impressed.
干得好。你令我刮目相看。
Just the man I want to see.我正要找你。
- Hoffa? What are the odds of that? - What are the odds of
-霍夫曼，那事的反应如何？-什么反应如何？
I'm going to be
straight with you. We want you back,
我打算开门见山地和你谈谈。我们想要你回来，布鲁斯。
But I want you to understand it was not
my decision to let
但我想要你明白的是，炒你鱿鱼的决定不是我做的。
- When the big guy gives the order... - No
harm, no foul.
-是幕后的大人物下的命令，你知道的。-不用拥抱，不用道歉。
I needed to reassess my goals and get in touch with my true
我需要时间重新设定我真正想做的事。
Look, Bruce. It is
not in my power to give you anchor.
你知道的，布鲁斯, 我没有权力给你主持人的职位。
As far as field reporting goes, if you're
looking for a bump...
只需要继续有新闻，如果你想得到升迁……
Jack. Let's cut the crap and get down to
brass tacks.
杰克, 我们废话少说。我们开诚布公吧。
My secret is that I let the jalapenos marinate in a
spicy sauce for at least 24 hours
before I stir it into the chilli.
我的秘诀是就在於可以把特殊的味道融入到一种非常美味的菜汁中，然后等24小时后，我才开始制作。
Then I let it all come
to a simmer.
我将所有的东西都放在一个锅里。
Hold that thought. It seems as if an asteroid or meteorite
留在这里，夫人。就像是一个小行星或是某种陨星，
has just hit ground right outside the Mark
Twain Chilli
刚刚坠落地面，就在马克吐温市场美食节现场外面。。
This should certainly
spice things up a bit!
这将是你见过得最热辣的东西！
His stories are all
over town.这是全城的历史时刻。
From unearthing Hoffa自从发现了吉米·霍夫曼，
..to a meteor crashing,到流星的坠落。
..Bruce Nolan is rapidly
becoming known
布鲁斯·诺兰，已经成为了…独家新闻先生！
He wanted me to have a day of beauty and luxurious
他说要我做一整天的美容，豪华而舒适。
I got to tell you, he
is impressing me
我要告诉你，最近他令我刮目相看。
- My gosh, I got chills. - I know.
-我的天,太令人兴奋了。-我知道。
He told me to prepare
for the most memorable night of our entire
他说，为我们一生都会记住的一晚做好准备。
Oh, my gosh. Grace, he's going to
我的老天，格雷丝，他想求婚了。
Come on. You do the math. He sends you all day to a beauty spa,
别这样，你想想，他让你来美容院一整天，
he's taking you to the most romantic restaurant in town where you had your first
date. Hello!
你们去那间本城最浪漫的饭店，你们第一次见面就在那里。
Welcome to Eyewitness
News at Six, with Susan Ortega,
欢迎收看6点钟新闻，主持人包括苏珊·奥尔特加，
Fred Donohue, sports, Dallas Coleman, weather.
佛瑞德，体育节目，达拉斯·科尔曼，天气预报。
A potential scandal
with the Buffalo PD
surfaced today,令人怀疑的巴甫洛警方丑闻，
when the mayor demanded that...
当市长要求……
Issued a response to...
对……发出回应……
I seem to have something stuck in my...
对不起，有东西噎住了……
Looks like
my new co-anchor may
need water.
看起来，我的搭档需要杯水。
In other news, the prime minister of Sweden visited Washington today,
另一条新闻，瑞典首相今天访问华府，
and my tiny little nipples went to France.
还有我的小情人去了法国。
What did he say? Check the prompter.
他在胡说什么？检查下电子提示器。
and I do the cha-cha like a sissy girl.
还有我像个女人般地跳喳喳舞。
I'm sorry. We seem to
be having technical
difficulties.
抱歉，看起来我们好像有点技术问题。
My apologies.对不起。
If I ruled the world如果我统治世界
Every day would be
the first day of spring
每一天都会是早春
Every heart would have a new song to
每一颗心都想歌唱…
And we'd sing of the joy every morning
would bring每天清晨我们会欢唱
Every man would
be as free as a bird
人人就像小鸟一样自由自在
We would treasure each day that occurs
我们会珍惜每一天
You know, I was going to wait until after
你知道，我终于扬眉吐气了，
but it'll burst out of me like an alien if I don't do it now.如果我不干了，他们会疯的。
I don't know if I'm ready for
this.我不知道，我还没准备好。
I got anchor.我成为主持人了。
Yes. Apparently it wasn't working out with
是的。他们要辞掉埃文，
so he's going to finish out the week and I go live on Monday.这周他就要走人，星期一我就要上任了。
- So that's what this is all about.
- Well, yeah.
-就是为了这些事情吗？-是的。
Jack's throwing me a party at the
Vanderbilt estate to
celebrate.
杰克星期五要凯歌晚会为我庆祝。
Jeez! Can you keep it down to a dull roar?
你们能小声点吗？
- Thank you! - Is that supposed to be
-谢谢！-这很搞笑吗？
Cos that is not funny.这一点都不搞笑。
- What did you say? - What is wrong with you? Stop yelling.
-你在说什么？-你怎么了？不要叫嚷。
The wine is going right through me.
那酒的作用。
What is going on here?怎么了？
No, this is Mount Everest.不是，这是珠穆朗玛峰。
Flip on the Discovery Channel from time to time.
你应该经常在探索频道看到过。
- I'm dead? - No. I'm
just messing with you.
-我死了吗？-没有，只是想搞糊涂你。
That's not funny, man! Not funny!
那并不好笑，伙计！这不好笑！
What about the voices
in my head? Is that part of the
我脑子里的声音是怎么回事？这也是笑话的一部分？
No, those are prayers. You keep ignoring them, they're going to build up.
不，那些是祷告的人。你不断的忽视他们，他们就集聚在你的头脑中。
You had my powers for a little over a week. How
many people have you
你拥有我能力的有一周了。你已帮助了多少人？
I took care of a few things. I righted a few wrongs in my own life first. OK? I was
going to help the others.
我，我照管你的事情。无论这是对失错，我得先管好自己的事。这排第一，行吧？
That wasn't the world. That was just
Buffalo, between 57th and Commonwealth.
不用管全世界。只是巴甫洛，在53条街道之间的众生。
I didn't want to start you off with more
than you could handle.我只能给你，你的能力所及的工作给你。
I didn't want to start you off with more
than you could handle.我只能给你，你的能力所及的工作给你。
Seeing him smile would make me so happy.
看到他的笑容能够让我非常幸福。
This creepy whisper thing has to end.
这些讨厌的耳语该停了吧。
Organization. That's what I need.
我需要的是有组织的，可以方便管理。
I need a system. Something concrete. Concentrate.一个系统。有点实体化。集中精神。
Files. Let
all prayers
be organized into files.
文件形式。把所有的祷告组织成文件形式。
I know. Prayer Post-its!我知道了。用便签！
OK, I need something with a lock. Security. Combination. A password.
我需要能具有锁上的，有安全保障。还有密码功能。
We bless, no
mess. Downloading
我们保证不会有遗漏。下载开始。
I better manifest
some coffee.我能喝点咖啡吗？
OK, I had to have made some kind of a dent by
now.我终于做完了。
What a bunch of whiners. This is going to
suck up my whole
那么多怨妇。这样会用掉我一生的。
I'll drink to that.
My tech stocks tripled in five days.我的股票5天涨了3倍，我可要为此喝一杯了。
I lost 47 pounds on the Krispy
Kreme diet.
我只吃饼干就减了47磅。
The man of the hour!今天的主角！
Be fruitful and... do
long division or something!
有成就，在某些事上表现的不平凡！
I like the Sabres.
Coach prays a lot.
我希望Sabres能赢。教练可是作了不少福。
Say the word and I'll
throw a lasso around
it and pull it
down.说呀，我会把它扯下来的。
it.我会要的。
- Then what? - Then you could swallow it.
-那又怎么样？-那你就能吞下它。
And it'd all
dissolve.然后消化它。
Moonbeams would shoot out of your
fingers and toes and the ends of your hair.
月光会从你的手指、脚指还有你的长发中散发而出。
actually, we had a
bit of a fight.
实际上，我和她刚刚有个争执。
Kind of. I'm not sure if
she's...某种……过火。
You're on fire, Bruce.想要有点激情嘛，布鲁斯？
Some women can't
handle fire. Some
这里的某个女人可以帮你燃起激情。那么一点点。
You might want to stop touching me now.
可不可以不碰我。
This is weird. I was just calling you.
这太怪了，我当时正在给你电话。
She kissed me. I'm
the kissee.
是她吻我，我是被吻的。
You were putting up a big fight.
啊，我看到你极力抗拒了。
OK, I screwed up. Can I make it up to
好了！我被人算计了。你要我给你什么补偿？
No wonder you stayed single!难怪你还不想结婚！
- Don't do this. - I'm not doing this.
I'm undoing
it.-格雷丝，别这样！-我没有那样做。我什么也没做。
I'll be at Debbie's. Take care of Sam
until I make
arrangements.
我要去黛比那里。在我做好安排以前，照顾萨姆。
I'm the Alpha,
lady!我是第一，宝贝！
I'm the Omega,
baby!我是造物者，宝贝！
What's the matter, Bruce? She can't handle a
little competition?
怎么啦，布鲁斯？她无法应付一点点竞争吗？
Game's been
called on account of
晚会由于下雨而取消。
An unusually high
number of lottery winners has officials
concerned.
不同寻常多的彩票中奖人数，令组织者关注。
So far, 1,100 winning tickets have been
turned in, all,
strangely, from the
Buffalo area.
超过11000人中奖，非常奇怪的是，都在巴甫洛地区。
More on this story as it develops.
随着情况的发展，会有进一步的报道。
Nothing like spending quality time with great
没有什么比和高贵的朋友共度时光更好的了。
How do you make somebody
love you without affecting free
你如何才能让别人爱你，却不用影响别人的自由意志？
You come up with an answer to that one, you
let me know.
如果你对在这种事上找到了答案，请告诉我。
Rise and shine, Buffalo.
It's 70 and sunny and the perfect day to forgive Bruce.
巴甫洛阳光明媚的一天。是原谅布鲁斯的最完美的日子。
"If You Can't Be With The One You
Love, Then Love
“如果你还没找到你的所爱，那么就爱布鲁斯吧”。
Order today and we'll
throw in at no extra charge
今天就订购，附送没有额外的费用的
That kid is gonna poop an ornament.
上帝呀，这孩子有厨师的天分。
One more time, you're
going to be in a lot
of trouble.再来一次的话，你就会有大麻烦。
I surrender! I surrender!我投降，我投降！
- Debbie won the
lottery. - Oh, yeah? You're
kidding.-黛比中了彩票。-啊，是吗？你开玩笑吧？
But so did 400,000 other people, so she only won like $17 or something.
他和40万人一起中了奖，所以她只得到17元。
I took a first step.好的，我主动点。
Jumped out on a ledge.先勾画出框框。
- Feeling vulnerable.
- What do you want me to
say?-你也相当闷。-你想我说什么？
- You said ass! - It's OK if I'm
talking about a donkey.-嘿，你说粗话！没事的。
Please. None of this seems right without you.
格雷丝，求你了。没了你一切都不对头。
How do you feel now?你现在感觉任何？
Have you completely lost your mind?
你真的彻底疯了？
- Are you drunk? - Yeah. Drunk with power.
-还是喝醉了？-我喝醉了，彻底醉了。
More power outages reported today caused
by last week's meteorite
因为上次陨星的坠落，越来越多的停电的报告。
Officials are definitely trying to repair transformers
damaged by the
ensuing electrical
surge.有关方面疲于修复陨星爆炸破坏变压器。
The scene nearly turned violent
现场变得失控，
when Buffalo
residents protested last week's lottery
当数百名巴甫洛居民抗议上周的彩票结果。
Doomsayers are pointing to last week's strange
celestial events as
signs that prophecy is being fulfilled
and the world may
be coming to an
末日的恐惧和上周的奇怪的事情被人们视为预言就要实现的征兆，现在的世界将终结。
You know what? I'm fine. Never better.
很好，从来没有这么好过。
- You ready? - Born
-准备好了吗？-一直准备好的。
- What happened? - We lost power.
-什么事？-停电了。
- Transformer's down again. - Jeez.
-变压器坏了。-老天。
Ever since that damn meteorite hit.
都是那该死的陨星。
We're about to uncork
some champagne
because the Sabres
have won their first championship in 22
我们准备开香槟，因为剃刀队在这里赢得了22年来的第一个冠军！
hell! - What is it
-真该死！-怎么回事？
- The whole booth is down. - It's
-保险全坏了。-不，不是的！
We've got a situation here. They're rioting right
outside.本地有状况，暴乱失去控了。
Possibly the
biggest breaking news
story this town has ever seen.
本城发生了也许是你从未见过的突发事件。
Repent! The end is near!忏悔吧！末日来了！
on!鼓掌！Figures!鼓掌！
Not as easy as it looks, is it, son? This
God business.看起来很容易，不是吗，孩子？上帝的工作。
They're all out of
control.一切都失控了。
No matter how filthy
something gets, you can always clean it right up.
无论搞得多乱，你总能清理好。
But since when does anyone have a
clue about what they want?
那么是你在什么时候有了线索，什么是他们所需要的呢？
So what do I do?那么我该怎么做？
Parting your soup is not a miracle. It's a magic trick.
分开一盆浓汤并不是什么奇迹，那只是一个小小的魔术把戏而已。
A teenager who says no to drugs and yes to an education, You want
to see a miracle,
年轻人说要远离毒品，而且要努力受教育，年轻人，想要看到真正的奇迹吗？
Be the miracle.那就先成为奇迹吧。
Yeah. I figure you can handle things
是啊，我想你现在可以自己解决问题了。
But what if I need you? What if I have
questions?
但如果我又需要你帮助，或者我又有别的问题的时候怎么办？
You keep looking up.你要继续留神喽。
Order has been restored after this evening's
downtown riot.
在今天的示威游行之后，巴甫洛本地的秩序已经恢复正常。
State officials have suspended all lottery sales pending further
investigation.
政府官员已经暂停所有的彩票发行，留待进一步的调查。
No injuries were reported in the melee, however there were dozens
of arrests.
这次示威游行中没有伤亡报告，官方正在寻找妥善的解决方法。
If you don't like it... mega-bite me.
你们要是不情愿的话，来咬我吧。
I suppose you're here to gloat about the anchor position. Go
我想你是回来取代我的主持人身份的吧，它们是你的了。
I just came to tell you that I've been a royal prick.
我是来告诉你我放弃了从事主持方面的工作了。
The anchor position is yours. I turned down the job.主持人是你，我辞掉了这次工作。
In the financial world, things are back to
目前的金融界一切都归于平常，
in what analysts are calling a fluke market fluctuation.
我们称其为平衡的市场效应。
- You made the right move. - What about you?
-你这一步走得不错。-你呢？
Lower and debase
myself for the
total strangers?
我必须自降身价去取悦那些我都不认识的人？
Yeah, I could do that. Sounds like fun.
是啊，我可以做这些事情，听上去蛮有趣的。
I know this seems kind of crazy,
我知道这可能看上去很疯狂，
but desperate times call
for desperate measures.
但是值得试试。
I tuck my kids in, maybe have some ice cream and watch
我带着我的孩子，一起吃个雪糕或者看看电视。
find contentment, find you."让他学会满足。”
"Dear God, please help Bruce. He seems to be struggling."
“亲爱的上帝啊，请帮帮布鲁斯吧。他常常为了发现真相而挣扎。”
Sammy, she's
logging on. She's praying right
now.萨姆，她正登陆上来。正在祈祷。
You win! I'm done!你赢了！我完了！
You can't kneel down in the middle of a highway and
live to talk
你不可以在高速公路的中间跪了下来，说自己还活着。
you have the divine spark.
你拥有神圣的能力。
You have the gift for bringing joy and
laughter to the
你拥有为世界带来欢乐的天赋。
I know. I created you.
我知道的，是我创造了你。
Lord, feed the hungry.
上帝啊，请你拯救饥荒中的人们。
And bring peace to. all of mankind.
还要把和平带到全世界。
No matter what that means. I want her to find someone who'll treat her with all the love she deserved
不管这意味着什么。我希望她可以找到一个会全身心去爱她的人，本来那是她从我这里应得的。
- Got a rhythm. - I got a pulse.
-检查他的脉搏。-有心跳了。
- Let's get him up. -
Get the backboard and brace.-让我们抬起他。-把他抬上担架。
- I was such an idiot. - It's OK.
-我真是个笨蛋。-没关系的。
Let's go over here. The Kowolskis have baked a cookie just
for this occasion.
过来看看，我们的科洛斯基，为了今天的这个场合，他们做了一个十分特殊的饼干。
Sure it's a creepy and a shameless plug, but we love'em.看上去可能有点吓人，但是我们喜欢。
I will have given
blood twice this
我本人本周接受了2次捐血。
For those of you who haven't heard,
为了你们中许多还不知情的人，
I'd like to introduce you to the future
Mrs Exclusive.
让我为你们介绍未来的“独家夫人”。
She just gave blood
and she still has
enough left to fill up her face.
她刚刚捐了血，但我看她脸上还有足够的血色。
Yes, behind every great man, there's a woman
rolling her eyes,
每个成功男人的背后，都有一个温柔的女人在支持着他。
Nolan for Eyewitness
News reminding you to read with me “ Be the miracle!”
我是“新闻直击”的布鲁斯·诺兰。在座的各位献血的朋友们，记得和我一起读: 创作奇迹！
In fact, I think you'll find it pleasurable.
实际上，你会发现这很有快感呢。
Armageddon out here.世界未日已离去。
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