anxiety or HIV??? did i infect my gf!?!?!?
hi.
i posted originally in the hiv forum and they told me oral sex is no risk.
}im a straight male, am in a commited relationship, but my gf went out for the holidays and i made a stupid drunken mistake. i blew a man of unknown status. he ejaculated in my mouth and i spitted out. One week later i got a sore throat and the dr gave me azithromicine. I then developed a diarrhea, thought it was the antibiotics. BUT last monday my gf and i had sex again and she had a rash on her stomack!!! like 10-20 red dots, no itch. since then i've been so anxious and my diarrhea hasn't gone away (it's been like 8 days). i don't know if it is because of the fear of infecting her or if everything is just coincidence or if we are actually seroconverting. Since then I haven't had sex with her even though i want to love her and kiss her, but i can't seem to get aroused and she's getting wierded out! i dont know what to do and am afraid shell leave me if i come clean! I'm still two weeks+ away from my 8 month mark to get tested. wHaT SHOULD I DO!? she wants to spend the night and we've never used condom since she started the pill. (we tested together when we decided and we were negative, neither of us had had sex without condom before)
What are the chances i got hiv if hypothetically this guy was hiv+ and with a high viral load. help pleaseee!!!!
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Like you were already told, you didn't have a risk.&&HIV anxiety commonly occurs after a person has had a sexual encounter that they later regret, or are ashamed of.&&You would certainly fit the bill, being that you had an experience with another man (are you bi-sexual by chance, and if so, does your GF know?), and being that you're in a committed relationship.
This is something you'll have to work through and come to terms with.&&If you feel you can move forward and never partake in this kind of encounter again, I would not recommend telling your GF.&&It's going to cause her such a great deal of pain, and worry and confusion (especially because your partner was a man).&&Telling your GF to rid yourself of the guilt you're carrying around isn't the answer.&&If you're not 100% sure if something like this would happen in the future, then maybe telling your GF is something to consider, so she can make her own educated, informed decision about whether she would want to continue to pursue this relationship with you.
To help put your mind at ease, read the following health page I created to address the all too common topic we see on the HIV forum about oral sex concerns.&&Hopefully that will allow you to relax a little bit:
If you find yourself not being able to put this behind you after some times has passed, and you remain anxious, then the next step would be to seek out professional help.
Take care and hang in there.
Like you were already told, you didn't have a risk.&&HIV anxiety commonly occurs after a person has had a sexual encounter that they later regret, or are ashamed of.&&You would certainly fit the bill, being that you had an experience with another man (are you bi-sexual by chance, and if so, does your GF know?), and being that you're in a committed relationship.
This is something you'll have to work through and come to terms with.&&If you feel you can move forward and never partake in this kind of encounter again, I would not recommend telling your GF.&&It's going to cause her such a great deal of pain, and worry and confusion (especially because your partner was a man).&&Telling your GF to rid yourself of the guilt you're carrying around isn't the answer.&&If you're not 100% sure if something like this would happen in the future, then maybe telling your GF is something to consider, so she can make her own educated, informed decision about whether she would want to continue to pursue this relationship with you.
To help put your mind at ease, read the following health page I created to address the all too common topic we see on the HIV forum about oral sex concerns.&&Hopefully that will allow you to relax a little bit:
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/HIV/HIV-AND-ORAL-SEX-THE-FACTS/show/1278?cid=68
If you find yourself not being able to put this behind you after some times has passed, and you remain anxious, then the next step would be to seek out professional help.
Take care and hang in there.
Thank you, and i don't know if im bisexual, i always thought is normal to have certain curiosity and it just happened that way. and i dont really mind if i were. i'm sure it won't happen agin wether its a man or a woman, i love my gf so much i'm thinking of asking her to marry me and i don't now why i did it, it's so not like me, maybe i wouldnt be as worried if it was a woman but maybe i would regret it the same, is just i heard gays are easier to have hiv.
thank you for the facts page. my gf wanted to watch greys anatomy, i never watch tv but said ok sure&&and a character had to take a hiv test and i thought it was a sign from god and almost had to throw up. are you sure her rash and my diarrhea that doesn't go away is not ars?? i want to believe but its just too much coincidence!
Thank you, and i don't know if im bisexual, i always thought is normal to have certain curiosity and it just happened that way. and i dont really mind if i were. i'm sure it won't happen agin wether its a man or a woman, i love my gf so much i'm thinking of asking her to marry me and i don't now why i did it, it's so not like me, maybe i wouldnt be as worried if it was a woman but maybe i would regret it the same, is just i heard gays are easier to have hiv.
thank you for the facts page. my gf wanted to watch greys anatomy, i never watch tv but said ok sure&&and a character had to take a hiv test and i thought it was a sign from god and almost had to throw up. are you sure her rash and my diarrhea that doesn't go away is not ars?? i want to believe but its just too much coincidence!
1. A rash has nothing to do with hiv.
2. An hiv test on tv has nothing to do with you. If you walked to work beside a store selling dresses would you think it is a sign from God for you to put one on when you go to work?
2. If you tell gf anything kiss goodbye to your relationship.
1. A rash has nothing to do with hiv.
2. An hiv test on tv has nothing to do with you. If you walked to work beside a store selling dresses would you think it is a sign from God for you to put one on when you go to work?
2. If you tell gf anything kiss goodbye to your relationship.
I guess ill test at 8 weeks then. if it comes out positive ill have to talk to her. i hope it really is just me. than you
I guess ill test at 8 weeks then. if it comes out positive ill have to talk to her. i hope it really is just me. than you
You are better off reading ng's post again than wasting your life worrying for 8 weeks.
You are better off reading ng's post again than wasting your life worrying for 8 weeks.
Just one more question. I feel better now. but i reada couple of cases on the internet of pepople saying they got it from oral. What worries me most is this wierd diarrhea that's not going away. why isn't it going away if im not infected??? it's been going on for like 9 days in a row!
Just one more question. I feel better now. but i reada couple of cases on the internet of pepople saying they got it from oral. What worries me most is this wierd diarrhea that's not going away. why isn't it going away if im not infected??? it's been going on for like 9 days in a row!
Did you know that if you are worried that you are going to die from something and decide to google it long enough, then you will find something that says you are going to die from it?
Keep googling and you are guaranteed to keep worrying.
You should see a doc about your diarrhea if it goes on too long. My mother had an infection and got diarreah, but she didn't have hiv - and you don't either. In the meantime drink some electrolytes and lots of water to replenish what you are losing because it is easy to get dehydrated.
Did you know that if you are worried that you are going to die from something and decide to google it long enough, then you will find something that says you are going to die from it?
Keep googling and you are guaranteed to keep worrying.
You should see a doc about your diarrhea if it goes on too long. My mother had an infection and got diarreah, but she didn't have hiv - and you don't either. In the meantime drink some electrolytes and lots of water to replenish what you are losing because it is easy to get dehydrated.
sorry i'm bac here. i got some pills for diiarrhea, took one last night and it's already better. it wouldn't work if i had the hiv right?? and and how sure are you i didn't get the virus if the guy had it and was with a super really high virus load? one of the cases i read the girl said she got infected just by a little pre.***!! and one guy said he only did unprotected oral with women and still got it!!1 ejaculation i read has the most high contents of the virus!!! Also i mentioned i had small cuts in my mouth and tongue because of the chips i was eating. i read small cuts and sores make it easier to catch the hiv even in low risky behavior!
sorry i'm bac here. i got some pills for diiarrhea, took one last night and it's already better. it wouldn't work if i had the hiv right?? and and how sure are you i didn't get the virus if the guy had it and was with a super really high virus load? one of the cases i read the girl said she got infected just by a little pre.***!! and one guy said he only did unprotected oral with women and still got it!!1 ejaculation i read has the most high contents of the virus!!! Also i mentioned i had small cuts in my mouth and tongue because of the chips i was eating. i read small cuts and sores make it easier to catch the hiv even in low risky behavior!
That's the problem, you need to stop reading stuff on the internet.&&You will find all KINDS of things that will scare you.&&There is a LOT of inaccurate and just plain blatant lies out there when it comes to HIV.
You really need to seek some help for your anxiety.&&You can start by taking control of your internet browsing.&&The more you do that, the more anxious you will become.&&Then, I would recommend making an appt to talk with a mental health professional.
That's the problem, you need to stop reading stuff on the internet.&&You will find all KINDS of things that will scare you.&&There is a LOT of inaccurate and just plain blatant lies out there when it comes to HIV.
You really need to seek some help for your anxiety.&&You can start by taking control of your internet browsing.&&The more you do that, the more anxious you will become.&&Then, I would recommend making an appt to talk with a mental health professional.
hi, i think i will. this is killing me. i thought i was doing ok. we had sex today. it's been 4 times since jan. 10.... Later she said she got a stomack ache and I still have diarrhea even though I took the pill. is there any other explanation for this chronic diarrhea than hiv??? i'm just scared cause i read it's one of the main characteristics of the hiv and it fits on the time of ars symptoms (it started like at 34 days after my risky encounter.)
hi, i think i will. this is killing me. i thought i was doing ok. we had sex today. it's been 4 times since jan. 10.... Later she said she got a stomack ache and I still have diarrhea even though I took the pill. is there any other explanation for this chronic diarrhea than hiv??? i'm just scared cause i read it's one of the main characteristics of the hiv and it fits on the time of ars symptoms (it started like at 34 days after my risky encounter.)
& is there any other explanation for this chronic diarrhea than hiv???&
Sure, anxiety.
You didn't have a risky encounter.&&I think getting help is the way to go.
& is there any other explanation for this chronic diarrhea than hiv???&
Sure, anxiety.
You didn't have a risky encounter.&&I think getting help is the way to go.
Thank you, thank you very much for answering so quickly. I'll def look for a counselor. really, what you do for people in my situation is a great job.
god bless you both!
Thank you, thank you very much for answering so quickly. I'll def look for a counselor. really, what you do for people in my situation is a great job.
god bless you both!
Just one more last question I SWEAR!!! would the same apply to this on and off feeling i got it the back of my mouth that it hurts when i swallow??? I don't get it often, motly when i think about hiv and also my shoulders/back get super tense and sometimes i also feel my back hurt and i've been having nightmares for like a month, not dreams, just nightmares people are chasing me and want to kill me.
Just one more last question I SWEAR!!! would the same apply to this on and off feeling i got it the back of my mouth that it hurts when i swallow??? I don't get it often, motly when i think about hiv and also my shoulders/back get super tense and sometimes i also feel my back hurt and i've been having nightmares for like a month, not dreams, just nightmares people are chasing me and want to kill me.
You will be able to answer that one yourself, if you just read your post again.
You will be able to answer that one yourself, if you just read your post again.
Always feel lightheaded and dizzy even though I was told my HIV exposure was no risk. I kept going to the internet and look for information.&&Can anyone help me and suggest me how I can stay off the internet coz it is fueling my fear and anxiety? THank you.
Always feel lightheaded and dizzy even though I was told my HIV exposure was no risk. I kept going to the internet and look for information.&&Can anyone help me and suggest me how I can stay off the internet coz it is fueling my fear and anxiety? THank you.
i get you man. i read your post and i can't shake that feeling of being the unlucky basterd that got it. i didn't even enjoy it, i kept spitting out for like 10 minutes after, making tons of saliva and all. and i already had sex with my gf and im going insane. im afraid of testing because i think that if it is too soon i wont be calm even if comes out negative. i've been clenching my jaw in my sleep and it hurts like hell. i think everything that happens to me is linked to ars, except i've been reading they are also linked to anxiety. i've been biting my nails so much it hurts now just to type. it has worked to stick to this website. i don't think the doctors here would be as evil as to help spread hiv by giving wrong advice and that thought makes me a little more calm. but i also read some scary stuff online. ive been like this for like 2 months now. i want to drill my brain.
i get you man. i read your post and i can't shake that feeling of being the unlucky basterd that got it. i didn't even enjoy it, i kept spitting out for like 10 minutes after, making tons of saliva and all. and i already had sex with my gf and im going insane. im afraid of testing because i think that if it is too soon i wont be calm even if comes out negative. i've been clenching my jaw in my sleep and it hurts like hell. i think everything that happens to me is linked to ars, except i've been reading they are also linked to anxiety. i've been biting my nails so much it hurts now just to type. it has worked to stick to this website. i don't think the doctors here would be as evil as to help spread hiv by giving wrong advice and that thought makes me a little more calm. but i also read some scary stuff online. ive been like this for like 2 months now. i want to drill my brain.
You BOTH need to make a concerted effort to quit searching the internet, as that is only fueling your anxiety.&&Also, I think it would be wise to seek mental health help, as you're unable to move past this.
Remember, FEAR if not FACT.&&HIV is a VERY VERY difficult virus to transmit, even in situations where a person HAS had a high risk, it's more likely that the person will NOT get infected.
Neither of you have an HIV concern, and you need to start helping yourselves by working towards not fueling your &what if& thoughts.
You BOTH need to make a concerted effort to quit searching the internet, as that is only fueling your anxiety.&&Also, I think it would be wise to seek mental health help, as you're unable to move past this.
Remember, FEAR if not FACT.&&HIV is a VERY VERY difficult virus to transmit, even in situations where a person HAS had a high risk, it's more likely that the person will NOT get infected.
Neither of you have an HIV concern, and you need to start helping yourselves by working towards not fueling your &what if& thoughts.
Any suggestion on how to stay off coz it is just too convenient to search with the phone and my mind is always think of that exposure.&&I have never been to a psychologist and you think talking to one will help? Thank you for your help.
Any suggestion on how to stay off coz it is just too convenient to search with the phone and my mind is always think of that exposure.&&I have never been to a psychologist and you think talking to one will help? Thank you for your help.
It obviously takes some self control.&&Put up roadblocks for yourself.&&If you've downloaded apps to certain sites you've been browsing, remove them from your phone.&&Remove shortcuts, etc.&&Leave your phone behind when you don't need to have it.&&
Yes, a psychologist will help.&&Ask your doc for a recommendation, if possible, see if he/she can refer you to a therapist familiar with CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy.
It obviously takes some self control.&&Put up roadblocks for yourself.&&If you've downloaded apps to certain sites you've been browsing, remove them from your phone.&&Remove shortcuts, etc.&&Leave your phone behind when you don't need to have it.&&
Yes, a psychologist will help.&&Ask your doc for a recommendation, if possible, see if he/she can refer you to a therapist familiar with CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy.
is this common? is this normal??
i just feel so nervous. your words have calmend me a bit. (just went to the bathroom and i'm doing better (about my stools)). my shoulders hurt and i don't know if this come and go feel of an itchy throat is real or not.
my stomack turns and my heart beats like going out of my chest when i think about if i marry this girl and we want to have a baby and she gets pregnant shell have to get tested and shes gonna be positive because of me.
is this common? is this normal??
i just feel so nervous. your words have calmend me a bit. (just went to the bathroom and i'm doing better (about my stools)). my shoulders hurt and i don't know if this come and go feel of an itchy throat is real or not.
my stomack turns and my heart beats like going out of my chest when i think about if i marry this girl and we want to have a baby and she gets pregnant shell have to get tested and shes gonna be positive because of me.
All you have to do is browse through the HIV Prevention communities, and you'll see just how common anxiety related to HIV is.
In all the years I've been a regular contributor on the HIV forum, not ONE person has ever reported becoming infected, even after high risk situations.&&That should give you an idea of how hard it is to get HIV.&&There are probably thousands of posts every month on that forum, it's one of the busiest forums on MH.
You're not going to be the first.
All you have to do is browse through the HIV Prevention communities, and you'll see just how common anxiety related to HIV is.
In all the years I've been a regular contributor on the HIV forum, not ONE person has ever reported becoming infected, even after high risk situations.&&That should give you an idea of how hard it is to get HIV.&&There are probably thousands of posts every month on that forum, it's one of the busiest forums on MH.
You're not going to be the first.
Actually, going on sites like Aidsmed and Medhelp and reading that oral sex is no risk and the answers that the drs and other moderaters gave clam my nerve and anxiety for a short while and then back to the old me again.&&I think my problem is my lightheadness and fatigue which I think is coz by stress and anxiety are making me feel so bad that I attribute them to a possible HIV infection.&&If my dizziness and lightheadness can go away, I will be fine but they just keep come and go.&&Any suggestion on how to deal with this? I have no one to talk to so I am really stressing out.
Actually, going on sites like Aidsmed and Medhelp and reading that oral sex is no risk and the answers that the drs and other moderaters gave clam my nerve and anxiety for a short while and then back to the old me again.&&I think my problem is my lightheadness and fatigue which I think is coz by stress and anxiety are making me feel so bad that I attribute them to a possible HIV infection.&&If my dizziness and lightheadness can go away, I will be fine but they just keep come and go.&&Any suggestion on how to deal with this? I have no one to talk to so I am really stressing out.
&Actually, going on sites like Aidsmed and Medhelp and reading that oral sex is no risk and the answers that the drs and other moderaters gave clam my nerve and anxiety for a short while and then back to the old me again.&
That's a common misconception.&&What you're doing is getting caught up in the cycle of seeking reassurance.&&This is common among people with OCD, for example.&&You feel temporary relief of your anxiety after reading/posting, but it's only short lived.&&Before long, the anxiety wells up again, and you find yourself feeling the need to search again, for more reassurance.&&That's what I was talking about as far as searching the internet fueling anxiety.&&It's a cycle that will leave you feeling worse in the long run.&&
In addition to the above reason, there are other reasons why searching the internet only makes anxiety worse.&&Frequently feeding the brain info and stimuli about a topic you're worried about only makes you focus more on that topic.&&It makes it much harder to learn how to dismiss those thoughts.
You keep asking suggestions to deal with this, and I've already told you the things you need to do to help yourself, a few times.&&Get some professional help and start exercising self control with the internet searching.
&Actually, going on sites like Aidsmed and Medhelp and reading that oral sex is no risk and the answers that the drs and other moderaters gave clam my nerve and anxiety for a short while and then back to the old me again.&
That's a common misconception.&&What you're doing is getting caught up in the cycle of seeking reassurance.&&This is common among people with OCD, for example.&&You feel temporary relief of your anxiety after reading/posting, but it's only short lived.&&Before long, the anxiety wells up again, and you find yourself feeling the need to search again, for more reassurance.&&That's what I was talking about as far as searching the internet fueling anxiety.&&It's a cycle that will leave you feeling worse in the long run.&&
In addition to the above reason, there are other reasons why searching the internet only makes anxiety worse.&&Frequently feeding the brain info and stimuli about a topic you're worried about only makes you focus more on that topic.&&It makes it much harder to learn how to dismiss those thoughts.
You keep asking suggestions to deal with this, and I've already told you the things you need to do to help yourself, a few times.&&Get some professional help and start exercising self control with the internet searching.
To add to my above comment....
That's a common misconception.&&What you're doing is getting caught up in the cycle of seeking reassurance.&&This is common among people with OCD, for example.&&You feel temporary relief of your anxiety after reading/posting, but it's only short lived.&&Before long, the anxiety wells up again, and you find yourself feeling the need to search again, for more reassurance.
The more frequently you seek reassurance, the worse the severity of the anxiety will become, overall.&&For one, you will notice that your feelings of reassurance will last a shorter and shorter time, and when the anxiety resurfaces, it will gradually increase in severity.
To add to my above comment....
That's a common misconception.&&What you're doing is getting caught up in the cycle of seeking reassurance.&&This is common among people with OCD, for example.&&You feel temporary relief of your anxiety after reading/posting, but it's only short lived.&&Before long, the anxiety wells up again, and you find yourself feeling the need to search again, for more reassurance.
The more frequently you seek reassurance, the worse the severity of the anxiety will become, overall.&&For one, you will notice that your feelings of reassurance will last a shorter and shorter time, and when the anxiety resurfaces, it will gradually increase in severity.
Thanks for the great info. and you are right.&&I feel it I am stuck in a circle and can never get out. The more I feel anxious, the sicker I feel. The more sick I feel, the more anxious I get..and go on and go on. I will try to stop searching the net and see how it helps.&&I will let you know how it goes. You are an angel NG. Thank you!
Thanks for the great info. and you are right.&&I feel it I am stuck in a circle and can never get out. The more I feel anxious, the sicker I feel. The more sick I feel, the more anxious I get..and go on and go on. I will try to stop searching the net and see how it helps.&&I will let you know how it goes. You are an angel NG. Thank you!
What did you do with your life when you didn''t have hiv fears to spend the day on? Anxiety is now your poor choice of hobby, when you search the internet.
What did you do with your life when you didn''t have hiv fears to spend the day on? Anxiety is now your poor choice of hobby, when you search the internet.
To tell you the truth, I have the HIV fear the moment I get up until I fall asleep at night. It is better when I am busy at work and have no time to think about that. However, when I have some time, I will go on the net and read the forums on Medhelp and Aidsmed.&&At night, I will try to relax but the fear is always there and I will wind up search the net again.&&I know keeping myself busy is the way to go but just I can always find time to think and search.&& I used to be a very happy person and now I am living with fear and sadness. The worst part is I see my wife every night and I cant even talk to her about my fear and trouble.&&The most important thing is I feel fatigue and dizzy all the time and it just making the situation worse.
To tell you the truth, I have the HIV fear the moment I get up until I fall asleep at night. It is better when I am busy at work and have no time to think about that. However, when I have some time, I will go on the net and read the forums on Medhelp and Aidsmed.&&At night, I will try to relax but the fear is always there and I will wind up search the net again.&&I know keeping myself busy is the way to go but just I can always find time to think and search.&& I used to be a very happy person and now I am living with fear and sadness. The worst part is I see my wife every night and I cant even talk to her about my fear and trouble.&&The most important thing is I feel fatigue and dizzy all the time and it just making the situation worse.
You wrote 8 sentences but didn't answer my question at all. Please try again.
You wrote 8 sentences but didn't answer my question at all. Please try again.
Just worked, watched TV, and travelled a couple of times a year with my wife.&&Dont know If I answered your question.
Just worked, watched TV, and travelled a couple of times a year with my wife.&&Dont know If I answered your question.
Nursegirl, since you are a nurse, I am wondering if you can answer a common medical question for me.&&Does anxiety cause fatigue, lightheadness and dizziness?
Nursegirl, since you are a nurse, I am wondering if you can answer a common medical question for me.&&Does anxiety cause fatigue, lightheadness and dizziness?
Yes you did. Go back to doing that, instead of your new hobby of staring at the internet.
Yes you did. Go back to doing that, instead of your new hobby of staring at the internet.
I am doing all that just the anxiety is making me nervous and no interest in do them....
I am doing all that just the anxiety is making me nervous and no interest in do them....
No, you are not doing that at all.
You have a new hobby that bites but you won't stop playing with it. You stated &..just I can always find time to ... search.& That is the nasty hobby that you choose all day long to play with. No one here can make you stop hurting yourself.
Maybe it would help if you go to something like Gamblers Anonymous and listen to the stories of people there who choose the wrong path even though they know it bites. It seems they have something in common with you - a need to accept the risks and stop hurting themselves.
No, you are not doing that at all.
You have a new hobby that bites but you won't stop playing with it. You stated &..just I can always find time to ... search.& That is the nasty hobby that you choose all day long to play with. No one here can make you stop hurting yourself.
Maybe it would help if you go to something like Gamblers Anonymous and listen to the stories of people there who choose the wrong path even though they know it bites. It seems they have something in common with you - a need to accept the risks and stop hurting themselves.
i get you man. i am a busy man but now the hiv thoughts get in the way of whatever im doing and im practically ****** everything up. everythings so messed up. i cant focus at all. the more i wait the more scared i am of getting tested. i dont know what to do!
i get you man. i am a busy man but now the hiv thoughts get in the way of whatever im doing and im practically ****** everything up. everythings so messed up. i cant focus at all. the more i wait the more scared i am of getting tested. i dont know what to do!
Birdie/Nursegirl,
Can I get your opinion on to test ot not to test?&&The Drs here said I have no risk and no need to get tested and I did not have any sypmtons either even though I know sypmtons mean nothing.&&My thought is if I am positive, I rather not knowing it and can continue to spend my time with my wife with my anxiety until years later when she finds out.&&However, if I test positive, I dont think I can lie or hide from her and continue to spend my life with her because of my guilt.&&If I tell her the truth, I am pretty sure she will leave me right away.&&That's why I still have not tested.&&Is my thought rational or I am being selfish.
One other question regarding internet searching, do you suggest I stop all seraching including this anxiety forum coz I think this forum is really helping me to relax and provide me useful information?
Birdie/Nursegirl,
Can I get your opinion on to test ot not to test?&&The Drs here said I have no risk and no need to get tested and I did not have any sypmtons either even though I know sypmtons mean nothing.&&My thought is if I am positive, I rather not knowing it and can continue to spend my time with my wife with my anxiety until years later when she finds out.&&However, if I test positive, I dont think I can lie or hide from her and continue to spend my life with her because of my guilt.&&If I tell her the truth, I am pretty sure she will leave me right away.&&That's why I still have not tested.&&Is my thought rational or I am being selfish.
One other question regarding internet searching, do you suggest I stop all seraching including this anxiety forum coz I think this forum is really helping me to relax and provide me useful information?
&The Drs here said I have no risk and no need to get tested &
Think about it, why do you want another opinion and what would you do with it? You need to understand that is your problem, racing around the internet, looking for opinions from the entire world.
You have been given all the info you need, yet you keep coming back for reassurance after each of your latest internet whippings.
There is nothing more that I can do to help. Good luck.
&The Drs here said I have no risk and no need to get tested &
Think about it, why do you want another opinion and what would you do with it? You need to understand that is your problem, racing around the internet, looking for opinions from the entire world.
You have been given all the info you need, yet you keep coming back for reassurance after each of your latest internet whippings.
There is nothing more that I can do to help. Good luck.
Sorry one last thing. Go to GA as I suggested unless you get therapy.
Sorry one last thing. Go to GA as I suggested unless you get therapy.
May I ask you what is GA?
May I ask you what is GA?
Gamblers Anon. It is free and you can read my comments at 20 hours ago about that theory of mine.
Gamblers Anon. It is free and you can read my comments at 20 hours ago about that theory of mine.
birdie, nursegirl, thanks for&&your time. i want to ask something directly at you that could help me be more calm... do you really, really believe i don't have hiv??? i mean, seriously believe i was at NO risk AT ALL??? even with tiny cuts? even if he had been infected with high viral load? time's just going so slowly and the more i wait the more i have to wait to get tested. it's been 43 days that feel like torture. i cant mess my future, or my gf's and specially the fucture we can have togetehr. i'm doing better i swear. but tell me as blunt as you can be, as sure as you can be, as honest as you can be. Do you really believe what the user Teak said to me that i was not at risk of getting hiv from the oral sex??
birdie, nursegirl, thanks for&&your time. i want to ask something directly at you that could help me be more calm... do you really, really believe i don't have hiv??? i mean, seriously believe i was at NO risk AT ALL??? even with tiny cuts? even if he had been infected with high viral load? time's just going so slowly and the more i wait the more i have to wait to get tested. it's been 43 days that feel like torture. i cant mess my future, or my gf's and specially the fucture we can have togetehr. i'm doing better i swear. but tell me as blunt as you can be, as sure as you can be, as honest as you can be. Do you really believe what the user Teak said to me that i was not at risk of getting hiv from the oral sex??
The is just what I have read and also an answer given by Dr. Hook in the expert forum couple weeks ago that there MAY BE a few(less than 5) cases of infection from giving oral sex and no case of infection from receiving oral sex of over 30 years of the HIV history.&& You can interprete that the risk is extremely low from giving.&&I am the one that is receivng one for 3 seconds so it should be no risk but I am still very anxious.
Dont worry, you will be fine as I try to tell myself too.
The is just what I have read and also an answer given by Dr. Hook in the expert forum couple weeks ago that there MAY BE a few(less than 5) cases of infection from giving oral sex and no case of infection from receiving oral sex of over 30 years of the HIV history.&& You can interprete that the risk is extremely low from giving.&&I am the one that is receivng one for 3 seconds so it should be no risk but I am still very anxious.
Dont worry, you will be fine as I try to tell myself too.
i know. that's my worry. knowing theres a bit of a chance, reading that number &(less than 5)& makes me sweat. reading that number made my stomack turn, my heart bead violently and my hands sweat lie they're melting. i am so ready to test, but i have to wait like two weeks for my 8 week mark. i just hope birdie or nursegirl are not bored and annoyed with me and answer my question. at this rate im gonna jump of a bridge anytime soon.
i know. that's my worry. knowing theres a bit of a chance, reading that number &(less than 5)& makes me sweat. reading that number made my stomack turn, my heart bead violently and my hands sweat lie they're melting. i am so ready to test, but i have to wait like two weeks for my 8 week mark. i just hope birdie or nursegirl are not bored and annoyed with me and answer my question. at this rate im gonna jump of a bridge anytime soon.
I am in the same boat with you so I cant give you advice. I need some myself.&&Good Luck.
I am in the same boat with you so I cant give you advice. I need some myself.&&Good Luck.
No risk means no risk.&&Even when the docs will assign a negligible risk to oral sex, they don't ever advise testing.&&They are experts who deal with HIV every single day.&&That's their area of expertise.&&They're not going to tell a person that testing is not needed if there is ANY realistic possibility of infection.&&Remember, FACTS, not FEAR.&&FEAR tells you that out of a 1 in a zillion chance, you will be the unlucky one, FACT tells you it's not a concern...no more so than worrying about getting hit with a meteorite or getting struck by lightning, TWICE.&&You have a FAR better chance of getting hit by a bus tomorrow, but you're not ruminating and worrying about that, right?&&You're not studying bus schedules, doing web searches on statistics for death by bus vs ped accident, right?
There isn't much more we can say at this point to either of you.&&Continuing to repeat myself isn't helping you in the long run, because like I explained, the very issue of being stuck on seeking reassurance is only making your anxiety worse.&&
You BOTH need the help of a mental health professional.&&Talk of jumping off a bridge tells me that the levels of anxiety are severe, and necessitates making seeking help a priority, rather than continuing to chase your tail about HIV, which is not an issue for either of you.&&Harming yourself isn't the answer.&&You're SO fearful of HIV, I'm assuming for ONE because you perceive it (erroneously like most people) as a "death sentence", right...yet you talk about essentially ending your life jumping off a bridge?&&See the irony there?
WE can't help you, YOU have to help yourselves.&&Lastly, this is an anxiety forum, and we're always happy to discuss ways to cope with anxiety, but it really isn't the place for continued discussions about HIV itself.&&As for the anxiety topic, honestly, there isn't anything more I can tell either of you that I haven't already told you.&&
To break it down one last time...
1.&&Neither of you have an HIV concern, neither of you had a risk, neither of you need testing.
2.&&Professional help is a must at this point for you both.
3.&&You have to help yourself by having self control when it comes to searching the internet.&&Doing so is like pouring gasoline on a fire.&&Time to work towards putting the fire out, not feeding it.&&The mental health professionals are the "firefighters" if you will.
Good luck to both of you.&&Please feel free to come back and post an update after you've sought some help.&&In the future, it will be easier and less confusing if you guys start your own threads.&&
No risk means no risk.&&Even when the docs will assign a negligible risk to oral sex, they don't ever advise testing.&&They are experts who deal with HIV every single day.&&That's their area of expertise.&&They're not going to tell a person that testing is not needed if there is ANY realistic possibility of infection.&&Remember, FACTS, not FEAR.&&FEAR tells you that out of a 1 in a zillion chance, you will be the unlucky one, FACT tells you it's not a concern...no more so than worrying about getting hit with a meteorite or getting struck by lightning, TWICE.&&You have a FAR better chance of getting hit by a bus tomorrow, but you're not ruminating and worrying about that, right?&&You're not studying bus schedules, doing web searches on statistics for death by bus vs ped accident, right?
There isn't much more we can say at this point to either of you.&&Continuing to repeat myself isn't helping you in the long run, because like I explained, the very issue of being stuck on seeking reassurance is only making your anxiety worse.&&
You BOTH need the help of a mental health professional.&&Talk of jumping off a bridge tells me that the levels of anxiety are severe, and necessitates making seeking help a priority, rather than continuing to chase your tail about HIV, which is not an issue for either of you.&&Harming yourself isn't the answer.&&You're SO fearful of HIV, I'm assuming for ONE because you perceive it (erroneously like most people) as a "death sentence", right...yet you talk about essentially ending your life jumping off a bridge?&&See the irony there?
WE can't help you, YOU have to help yourselves.&&Lastly, this is an anxiety forum, and we're always happy to discuss ways to cope with anxiety, but it really isn't the place for continued discussions about HIV itself.&&As for the anxiety topic, honestly, there isn't anything more I can tell either of you that I haven't already told you.&&
To break it down one last time...
1.&&Neither of you have an HIV concern, neither of you had a risk, neither of you need testing.
2.&&Professional help is a must at this point for you both.
3.&&You have to help yourself by having self control when it comes to searching the internet.&&Doing so is like pouring gasoline on a fire.&&Time to work towards putting the fire out, not feeding it.&&The mental health professionals are the "firefighters" if you will.
Good luck to both of you.&&Please feel free to come back and post an update after you've sought some help.&&In the future, it will be easier and less confusing if you guys start your own threads.&&
dear nursegirl.
first of all i want to thank you for once again taking the time to respond. ill try my best this time to keep off the internet. about my fears, death is not what im scared about hiv. is having to take so many pills, watch my body change change my diet and habits, infecting an innocent person i love the most in the world, disappointing my family and friends, become a shame to my family, deal with prejudice and EVERYTHING because of ONE stupid moment i hated. for 2 minutes of an experiencie gone wrong. i despise myself. i dont deserve to be loved.
dear nursegirl.
first of all i want to thank you for once again taking the time to respond. ill try my best this time to keep off the internet. about my fears, death is not what im scared about hiv. is having to take so many pills, watch my body change change my diet and habits, infecting an innocent person i love the most in the world, disappointing my family and friends, become a shame to my family, deal with prejudice and EVERYTHING because of ONE stupid moment i hated. for 2 minutes of an experiencie gone wrong. i despise myself. i dont deserve to be loved.
I don't know if it would be easier if they started their own threads but like ng said, post an update AFTER THERAPY. They have virtually identical situations and ideas in their posts and even say that to each other here.
I think it is better if they keep this long one so the whole history is intact.&&This is just my opinion.
You killed 2 birds with 1 stone in that last post.
I don't know if it would be easier if they started their own threads but like ng said, post an update AFTER THERAPY. They have virtually identical situations and ideas in their posts and even say that to each other here.
I think it is better if they keep this long one so the whole history is intact.&&This is just my opinion.
You killed 2 birds with 1 stone in that last post.
I have been good and stay off the internet for the last couple days excpet coming to this forum and browse around(still bad??).&&My fatigue and lightheadness is still bothering me much daily.&&Just want to ask if someone can help me on how to deal with it.&&I know nursegirl is a nurse so your opinion is greatly appreciated.&&Thank you.
I have been good and stay off the internet for the last couple days excpet coming to this forum and browse around(still bad??).&&My fatigue and lightheadness is still bothering me much daily.&&Just want to ask if someone can help me on how to deal with it.&&I know nursegirl is a nurse so your opinion is greatly appreciated.&&Thank you.
POST THERAPY POST:
hello, yesterday morning i had my first therapy session. it went pretty well. we explored my anxiety and she thinks my anxiety levels are pretty high and that im a very nervous person. wont get into unecessary details, but about my hiv worry she thinks i should get tested as soon as it an be reliable so we can see how things start working out after i react to a negative result. also she has help me see that the scenarios i have of getting a positive test may be a slight possibility according to me but that i should also consider that negative is also a possibility and that i should also imagine scenarios in which i arrive at the lab and they give me negative results. talking about my guilt was good for me, i woke up feeling much better and with less muscular pain,, diarrhea is still there, but im trying to relate my symptoms to anxiety rather than ars. yesterday all day i didnt feel the need to post and i just decided to post today to talk about my experience, also because i want to ask the experts when should i test so i can trust my results. even though i still get nervous and my shoulders tense at the thought of this, im really not that terrified as i was 3 days ago. until then ill just think that a neg. result is a possibility.
sfgguy, hope this helps you too.
birdie/nursegirl, thanks for walking with me through this valley of fire and sorrow.
POST THERAPY POST:
hello, yesterday morning i had my first therapy session. it went pretty well. we explored my anxiety and she thinks my anxiety levels are pretty high and that im a very nervous person. wont get into unecessary details, but about my hiv worry she thinks i should get tested as soon as it an be reliable so we can see how things start working out after i react to a negative result. also she has help me see that the scenarios i have of getting a positive test may be a slight possibility according to me but that i should also consider that negative is also a possibility and that i should also imagine scenarios in which i arrive at the lab and they give me negative results. talking about my guilt was good for me, i woke up feeling much better and with less muscular pain,, diarrhea is still there, but im trying to relate my symptoms to anxiety rather than ars. yesterday all day i didnt feel the need to post and i just decided to post today to talk about my experience, also because i want to ask the experts when should i test so i can trust my results. even though i still get nervous and my shoulders tense at the thought of this, im really not that terrified as i was 3 days ago. until then ill just think that a neg. result is a possibility.
sfgguy, hope this helps you too.
birdie/nursegirl, thanks for walking with me through this valley of fire and sorrow.
12 weeks is 100% accurate. I am PRETTY SURE 9 weeks is about 95-99% accurate, might want to double check with nursegirl. Good for you for going to get the help you need.&&I hope you continue to go to therapy too.&&
12 weeks is 100% accurate. I am PRETTY SURE 9 weeks is about 95-99% accurate, might want to double check with nursegirl. Good for you for going to get the help you need.&&I hope you continue to go to therapy too.&&
what do you think are my odds after reading my case?
what do you think are my odds after reading my case?
From everything I know about the disease I would say 0%..I'm pretty sure salvia has enzymes that actually kill the virus too? Could be wrong though.&&Again I would listen to to nursegirl on everything she has told you.&&She has much more knowledge then you and I combined when it comes to this subject.&&
From everything I know about the disease I would say 0%..I'm pretty sure salvia has enzymes that actually kill the virus too? Could be wrong though.&&Again I would listen to to nursegirl on everything she has told you.&&She has much more knowledge then you and I combined when it comes to this subject.&&
UPDATE:
i went to test today at 7 weeks (48 days), it came out NEGATIVE
the thing happened during the night but i dont think some hours will make much difference. i read a lot and most people conclude that between 6-8 weeks regular antibody tests are almost 100% realible. now, that &almost& would've freaked me out last week. but i've been working on my emotional issues and i think i'm thining much much clearer now.
so, how did i come to believe my results:
1. by 7 weeks it's -almost- 100% realiable
2. my situation was low/no risk
3. ALL of the forums i've read NONE have seen a 6 week test turn positive at 12 weeks, let alone&&7 week test.
4. i don't have any medical condition that would delay seroconversion nor am i an iv drug user.
5. i don't think i'm THAT unlucky to be the only guy on ciberspace that seroconverted at week 11 after a debatable zero risk eposure.
bottom line is do trust my 7 week results and i don't think i'll be posting anytime soon.
for my ocd and anxious friends:
one you face the test, everything's gonna get better, anxiety can take the best of us and surely our bodies will react.
what worked a lot for me the past week was accepting that what happened, happened, that i wasn't better off wishing it didn't and that i could learn a lot from the experience. after analizing the positve aspects that i could now identify in my life after my sexual experience shame and guilt diminished a lot. it also help me value a lot more what i have and to be aware of it.
(my therapist made me realize this after the shock of thinking i could lose what i have). so in other words, look for help and think about the good stuff. we can take a lot from our experience other than hiv.
thank you everyone for your support, specially BIRDIE and NURSEGIRL.
hope i don't need to come to medhelp in a really long time!
UPDATE:
i went to test today at 7 weeks (48 days), it came out NEGATIVE
the thing happened during the night but i dont think some hours will make much difference. i read a lot and most people conclude that between 6-8 weeks regular antibody tests are almost 100% realible. now, that &almost& would've freaked me out last week. but i've been working on my emotional issues and i think i'm thining much much clearer now.
so, how did i come to believe my results:
1. by 7 weeks it's -almost- 100% realiable
2. my situation was low/no risk
3. ALL of the forums i've read NONE have seen a 6 week test turn positive at 12 weeks, let alone&&7 week test.
4. i don't have any medical condition that would delay seroconversion nor am i an iv drug user.
5. i don't think i'm THAT unlucky to be the only guy on ciberspace that seroconverted at week 11 after a debatable zero risk eposure.
bottom line is do trust my 7 week results and i don't think i'll be posting anytime soon.
for my ocd and anxious friends:
one you face the test, everything's gonna get better, anxiety can take the best of us and surely our bodies will react.
what worked a lot for me the past week was accepting that what happened, happened, that i wasn't better off wishing it didn't and that i could learn a lot from the experience. after analizing the positve aspects that i could now identify in my life after my sexual experience shame and guilt diminished a lot. it also help me value a lot more what i have and to be aware of it.
(my therapist made me realize this after the shock of thinking i could lose what i have). so in other words, look for help and think about the good stuff. we can take a lot from our experience other than hiv.
thank you everyone for your support, specially BIRDIE and NURSEGIRL.
hope i don't need to come to medhelp in a really long time!
I'm so happy to hear your update!&&Now, be sure you keep yourself busy and don't resort back to your prior ways should the anxiety rear its ugly head again.&&Nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand.&&Hopefully that won't be an issue for you!
Take care!
I'm so happy to hear your update!&&Now, be sure you keep yourself busy and don't resort back to your prior ways should the anxiety rear its ugly head again.&&Nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand.&&Hopefully that won't be an issue for you!
Take care!
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anxiety or HIV??? did i infect my gf!?!?!?
hi.
i posted originally in the hiv forum and they told me oral sex is no risk.
}im a straight male, am in a commited relationship, but my gf went out for the holidays and i made a stupid drunken mistake. i blew a man of unknown status. he ejaculated in my mouth and i spitted out. One week later i got a sore throat and the dr gave me azithromicine. I then developed a diarrhea, thought it was the antibiotics. BUT last monday my gf and i had sex again and she had a rash on her stomack!!! like 10-20 red dots, no itch. since then i've been so anxious and my diarrhea hasn't gone away (it's been like 8 days). i don't know if it is because of the fear of infecting her or if everything is just coincidence or if we are actually seroconverting. Since then I haven't had sex with her even though i want to love her and kiss her, but i can't seem to get aroused and she's getting wierded out! i dont know what to do and am afraid shell leave me if i come clean! I'm still two weeks+ away from my 8 month mark to get tested. wHaT SHOULD I DO!? she wants to spend the night and we've never used condom since she started the pill. (we tested together when we decided and we were negative, neither of us had had sex without condom before)
What are the chances i got hiv if hypothetically this guy was hiv+ and with a high viral load. help pleaseee!!!!
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