七雄争霸怎么合璧真操!蛋

Mi Lucky的日记
我的生活真操蛋
2009-07-29 10:50:36
转帖!
FML即 Fuck my life的缩写,直译的话就是“操,我的生活烂透了……”
在你感到不舒心的时候去这里,你会顿时发现生活原来没有最倒霉,只有更倒霉。
地址:fmylife.com
Today, I received my pa ort in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the a lication. Tur out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
今天,我在邮箱里收到了我的护照。他们把我的生日搞错了。然后我找到了我一起送去申请护照的出生证明。结果我发现我的父母16年来一直在错误的一天给我过生日。FML
Today, I was sitting in cla and I fell asleep during the le on. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and gra ed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
今天,我在上课的时候睡觉。我的JJ石更了,而且我穿的是很宽松的裤子。我的老师走了过来一把抓住了我的JJ——她以为那是我手机。FML
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
今天,我听见了我的姐姐在她的房间里面ZW。为了逃出去,我带着狗出去遛了遛。我回来的时候正巧碰见她出来,手里拿的东西是——我的电动牙刷。FML
Today, this really attractive woman that I've known for years told me that when I can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. I'm confined to a wheelchair. FML
今天,一个我认识了很久的很性感的女人跟我说,如果我能站着和她做,她就和我做。我残疾坐轮椅。FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed Yes Brittany! at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
今天,我在和我的男朋友***。当他要丢了的时候,他突然声嘶力竭地大喊“太棒了Brittany!!”我的名字不是Brittany.Brittany是他的妹妹。FML
Today, my bo called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential busine partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy a holes'. I have to go on busine trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
今天,我老板叫我去他的办公室,要给我看一个可能成为我们的商业伙伴的公司的网站。当他在谷歌里面打“Virginia”这个词的时候,网站把他的搜索自动补完成了他最近才搜索过的词条——“小处男的菊花”。我明天就要和他一起出差。我是个年轻男人。FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to come over for di er because I had some big news. He said he did too, and came over. After stuffing his face full of food, he broke up with me and said he'd re-enlisted into the marines, leaving in two weeks. I was going to tell him i'm 9 weeks pregnant. FML
今天,我让我男朋友来我家吃饭因为我有个大消息要告诉他。他说他也有个大消息要告诉我。在他吃得差不多的时候,他说要和我分手因为他两个星期以后就要去海军陆战队报道了。我准备告诉他我已经怀孕9个星期了。FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My hu and and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office pla ing to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
今天,我发现我怀孕了。我已经和老公试了很长时间,所以我等不及要把这个好消息告诉他。当我推开他的办公室的门准备给他一个惊喜时,我看到他和一个男的在亲热。FML
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, Beat ya! She's thirteen. FML
今天,我的女儿问我我是什么时候破处的。当我告诉她是22岁时,她立马大喊道:“我赢喽!!”她今年才13。FML
Today, my hu and of 9 years a ounced he was gay. He i inuated that he was only able to achieve erectio because I looked like a man. FML
今天,我结婚9年的老公告诉我说他是搞基的。他甚至还暗示我说,他和我在一起的时候能硬起来,是因为我长得比较爷们。FML
Today I noticed that my daughter was making fu y noises which oddly resembled sex sounds my wife makes. When I asked her what she was doing she said I'm pretending to be mommy from last night. I was on a busine trip last night. FML
今天,我发现我女儿在模仿很奇怪的、听起来像我老婆在***时发出的声音。当我问她你在干嘛的时候她说“我在学我妈咪昨晚的声音”。我昨晚出差。FML
Today, my wife is divorcing me because she wants to party more with her friends alone. One year ago, I followed her to Norway, where her family lives. I left my friends, family and job o ortunities (which were very good) in order to live with her. Now I am shoveling shit on a horse farm. FML
今天,我老婆要和我离婚因为她想和她的狐朋狗友们多玩一玩。一年前,我跟着她来到了她老家挪威。我离开了我的朋友,家庭和一份很好的工作,就是为了和她一起住。现在我TMD在一个马场铲马粪。FML
Today, I got a call from the ho ital that my fiance was in the ER. When I arrived at the ho ital they told me that he had a heart attack while having sex. FML
今天,我接到一个***说我的未婚夫被送进了急救室。当我赶到急救室的时候,他们告诉我说原因是他在和某人***的时候心脏病发作了。FML
Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude ow a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML
今天,我交往了三年的女友离开了我找了个新男友。她的理由是她需要找一个可靠的未来的经济后盾。没错那个哥们确实是有一个卖手机的亭子。但是我就要在医学院就读了。FML
Today, my teacher demanded to talk to my dad because she thought he wa 't a good enough male role model because i'd mi ehaved. i told her he had died of cancer in 2005. She said that my lie was rude, disgraceful, and that i should be ashamed, then gave me a detention. He actually did die. FML
今天,我老师要求和我爸谈话因为她认为我爸没给我起到一个好的榜样作用。我告诉她我爸在05年就死于癌症。结果她说我的谎言很粗鲁,没人性,不害臊,然后把我留校了。我爸是真的死了。FML
Today, I had to make a family tree for one of my cla es. When I was going through it, I realized that both my parents have the same last name. So, I asked them about it and they told me that they are second cousi . FML
今天,我有个做张家庭族谱的作业。当我在做的时候,我意识到我的父母的姓其实是一样的。所以我去问他们这是不是个巧合,结果他们告诉我说他们实际上是表亲关系。FML
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Tur out I had just po ed a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
今天,我咬了一下我男友的脖子。我感觉到什么东西流到了我嘴里。结果我发现我是把他脖子上的一个大痘子咬破了。掉进了我嘴里。FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we weere joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, " oon, this will be plump with my seed. FML
今天,我第一次和这个男生出去约会。我们去了星巴克,聊着天,很愉快。突然,他把他的手放到我肚子上说:“不久之后,这里就会被我的种子灌满”。FML
Today, I decided to take a nap. My boyfriend gave me some sleeping pills but I decided last minute not to take them. I woke up to my boyfriend ki ing my neck and u uttoning my shirt. Without opening my eyes, I whi ered ooh this is so romantic. He blurted out shocked, Oh...you're awake?! FML
今天,我打算打个盹。我男朋友给了我一些安眠药但是我最后没决定吃。我迷迷糊糊地醒来的时候发现他在亲我的脖子,解开我的衬衫。我闭着眼睛低语道:“嗯……真是浪漫。”他震惊道:“啊。你醒着呢?!”FML
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wa 't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
今天,我做公车去上班,后来旁边坐着个慈祥的老奶奶。公车到一半的时候,她睡着了,脑袋枕在了我的肩膀上。为了做个好青年,我在我的车站到之前才轻轻地打算弄醒她。实际上,这一路上她根本没在睡觉。也就是说,我让一个死人在我身上躺了30分钟。FML
Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran dow tairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML
今天,我以为我听到了我的***妹在玩我的新的大钢琴。我十分生气,跑下楼去制止她。结果我发现声音的来源是我父母在我的新钢琴上***。FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His re o e, I got your best friend pregnant. FML
今天,我给我男友发短信说:“Hi”。他的回复是:“我把你最好的朋友肚子搞大了”。FML
Today, I handed my PhD di ertation, which I have ent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed " either to " igger. I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My profe or is black. FML
今天,我上交了我的博士论文,我花了半年的时间做调查来写这篇论文。昨晚,我的室友在微软WORD里面的“自动更正”里面把“也不是(neither)”这个词全改成了“黑鬼(nigger)”。我一直到交了论文以后才发现。更糟糕的是我的教授就是个黑人。FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
今天,我男友和我决定试试X菊花。当他结束了以后,我转过身来,发现他面带微笑地拿着一个绑在腰带上的橡胶JJ,对我说:“现在来X我。”FML
Today, I went to my first strip club for my friends birthday. I also found out what my girlfriend does for a living. FML
今天,为了给我哥们庆祝生日我们第一次来到了脱衣舞俱乐部。我也发现了我的女友的工作是什么。FML
Today, I found out that because of my high blood pre ure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML
今天,我发现因为我的血压太高,我一个月都不能***。我的婚礼是下个星期,然后接下来的两个星期是蜜月。FML
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw ru y ot dri ing onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me Stop! The movement of his li caused the ot to fall right into my mouth. FML
今天,我去牙医那里洗牙。我抬头看着他,发现有鼻涕往他的嘴唇上滴。我试图慢慢地挪开,他告诉我“别动!”结果他说话的动作导致那大块鼻涕径直掉进了我嘴里。FML
Today, I found out that I am 14 weeks pregnant. The father of the baby is now engaged to my best friend, whom he was cheating on me with when I became pregnant. I'm going to be the maid of honor, 8 months pregnant with his child, at their wedding. FML
今天,我发现我已经怀孕三个多月了。孩子他爸现在已经和我最好的朋友订婚,在我怀孕的时候他一直和她有一腿。我将会是他们婚礼上怀着新郎的孩子8个月的伴娘。FML
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Tur out they were checking so that they could make love. I witne ed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
今天,我和我的祖父母睡在一个屋子里面。他们先是来确认我睡没睡着。为了不被责怪成熬夜,我就假装睡着了。结果,他们是想要***,所以才来确认我是不是睡了的。我亲眼目睹了两个70岁老头老太太在我旁边的床上***的情形。FML
Today, while I was out to eat, I was a roached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he re ected my personal choices, his patro didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a tra exual. I am a naturally-born female. FML
今天,我在外面吃饭的时候,饭店经理来找我谈话。他说虽然他很尊重我的个人选择,但是他的顾客们对于一个“曾经是男人”的女人用女卫生间感到非常不舒服。也就是说,他们以为我是个变性人。而我是个天生的女人。FML
Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediatly ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said Bermuda, 1989. They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML
今天,我在翻看我父母的旧的家庭录像。我把其中一个放进了录像机,惊恐地发现那里录着我的父母在***做的事。我立刻弹出了录像带并且看了看那上面的标签。上面写着:“百慕大,1989”。他们曾经告诉我说我就是在那个时候的百慕大群岛上被怀上的。我看到了自己被怀上的情形。FML
Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret ot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
今天,我自己一人来到了我和我男友第一次约会的地方:一个孤僻的山上。我注意到有另一对情侣藏在灌木丛中亲热。于是我打***给我男友,想要告诉他说有人找到了属于我们的秘密幽会地点。然后我就听到了我男友手机的Bob Marley的彩铃声从那堆灌木里飘来。FML
Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she sto ed, looked up into my eyes and said Do you believe in Jesus? FML
今天,我和一个女孩在我公寓里面打发时间……然后我们都来了感觉,就开始亲热。一步接着一步,然后我知道她要准备给我KJ。我正做好爽的准备,她突然停了下来,抬起头来望着我的眼睛说……“你信耶稣吗?”FML
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate stri naked pulls the door open, ki es me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, Thanks for last night, and leaves. FML
今天,我被我老爸突然造访我宿舍的敲门声所吵醒。我把门打开对着在门外的他打招呼,这时候我的室友脱光了衣服拉开了门,亲了我的脸颊,用一种超级搞基的声音说“昨晚你真棒”以后跑了。FML
Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She ope the door and walks over to me, swinging her hi , wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she tri on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML
今天,我光着身子站在床边,等着我老婆从浴室里面出来。她打开了浴室的门走向我,扭动着她的腰,什么都没穿。当她离我有四英尺的时候,她在地板垫上跌了一跤,而且用了我的JJ来稳住身形。FML
Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML
今天,我躺在床上试图睡着,可是就在此时我听见了我父母在OX。所以我戴上了耳机听音乐。听了好长好长一段时间之后,我想他们应该已经完事了,所以我摘下了耳机。结果我刚好赶上他们结束那一段。FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what ha ened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML
今天,我在高速上开车的时候接到了一个***,得知了我两个最好朋友因交通事故而死。我歇斯底里地把车快速在道边停下,然后过来一个交警问我怎么了。我解释了一切,结果他给了我一张罚单,说是因为我在开车的同时使用手机。FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML
今天,我男友和我决定在他的家里***。我们到了以后,他先去看信箱里面有没有信,然后就发现他订购的Wii的游戏到货了。他把我送回了家因为他更想玩游戏。FML
Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML
今天,我拜托我父母帮我报名加入军队。结果他们问我的是如果我死了,政府能补贴多少钱。FML
Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and di er at her apartment. After i knocked, a handsome young man a wered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background: Baby, who's there? FML
今天,拿着鲜花和晚餐,打算给我认识了两年的女友一个惊喜。我敲了敲她公寓的们——然后一个英俊的年轻男人打开了门。我以为我敲错了门,道了歉转身准备离开的时候,我听到了我女朋友的声音——“宝贝,门口的是谁?”FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, April Fool's! It's March 19th. FML
今天,我打算给我上大学的男友一个惊喜。我走进了他的宿舍,发现他和另一个女的躺在床上。他看见了我,说了句:“愚人节快乐!”那天是3月19号。FML
Today, my friends a roached me and accused me of being anorexic cause i've dro ed a lot of weight lately. I swore to them that i wa 't anorexic. They jokingly asked Do you have cancer or something? All i could do was stare at my feet. That wa 't exactly how i wanted them to find out. FML
今天,我的朋友怀疑我得了厌食症因为我最近掉了很多秤。我对他们发誓说我没得厌食症。他们开玩笑说:“那你是得了癌症什么的吗?”我除了盯着我的脚不知道以外不知道该如何反应——我并没指望他们以这种形式发现我得了癌症。FML
Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. I-I-I MISS HIM! She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was i ide her. FML
今天,我在用手指X女友。她在高潮顶点的时候突然哭了起来。我问她发生了什么事,她回答说:“我——我——我——我想他!!”她是为了她的前男友在哭。我当时还在她体内。FML
Today, I sent an email to my best friend, telling him that I'm gay. When I was typing the email addre in the to: field, it autocorrected the addre to my mother. She just re onded: you filthy faggot. FML
今天,我发了封邮件给我最好的朋友,告诉他我是同志。当我在输入“发送到:”那一栏的时候,系统给我自动更正成了我妈的邮件地址。她只回复了一句:“你这肮脏的蛆虫。”FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wa 't. About 30 seconds in he colla ed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wa 't joking. He was done. FML
今天,我男友和我决定***做的事。我是CN,他不是。30秒以后,他倒在了我的身上。我以为他在开玩笑,就笑了几声。他没在开玩笑。他干完了。FML
Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML
今天,我卫生棉在我的泳装旁边露出了一点点。我男友以为那是我比基尼多余的线头。于是乎他在大庭广众之下把我的卫生棉拉了出来。FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo. FML
今天,我给我6个月的男友发了条短信说我很想要,而且我躺在床上光着身子。他回了封信说:“你长了手指头,用它们,我去睡觉了亲爱的”。FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, what do I do now? FML
今天,我男友和我第一次***。在等待了非常长的一段时间之后,他终于进来了。这时他停了下来,问道——“好了,现在我该怎么办?”FML
Today, I got a phone call saying I was no longer a bridesmaid for a wedding in June. It's my mom's 4th wedding. I'm getting replaced by our dog. FML
今天,我接到***说我不再是6月份婚礼的伴娘了。那婚礼是我妈的第四次婚礼。当她伴娘的将会是我家的狗。FML
Today, I opened my mail to find my Brown acceptance letter. Excited, I showed my dad who just laughed and said 'what, it's not like it's Harvard'. No one in my family has ever gone to college. My dad didn't even graduate from high school. FML
今天,我打开了邮箱发现我被布朗大学(美国常春藤盟校之一)录取了。我兴奋地告诉了我爸,他笑笑说:“啥啊,又不是哈佛。”我家里人除了我没人上过大学。我爸甚至高中都没毕业。FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. Tonight's the night, my boyfriend says. I'm finally going to tell her I love her! I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, Awesome! But what about Kayla? I'm Kayla. FML
今天,我听到了我交往3个月的男友和他的朋友聊天,它们不知道我能听到他们。“就是今晚了”,我男友说,“我要告诉她,我爱她!!”我非常兴奋,感觉我也非常爱他。然后他的朋友就说:“太好了。可是,凯拉怎么办?”我就是凯拉。FML
Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancee, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confe ing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancee for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a ha y birthday. FML
今天是我生日。我一整天只接到三个***。第一个是我的未婚夫,说他要把订婚戒指拿回去。第二个是我最好的朋友,向我坦白说过去三个月来她一直和我的未婚夫行为不轨。第三个是我牙医的办公室,给我唱《祝你生日快乐》。FML
Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, F*** you, Jackson. Don't f*** with me. I'm Tyler, Jackson is my co-worker. FML
今天,下班以后,我去停车场准备开车回家。我发现我的车的门被划伤得很厉害,我所有的车胎都被扎了。挡风玻璃上留着一张字条写着:“草NM,杰克逊。别耍老子。”我是泰勒。杰克逊是我同事。FML
Today, I came home to find my mum on the phone to the doctor. When she hung up I asked what had ha ened. She said they found a sexually tra mitted disease in my bloodtest, and then she began to call me a slut. I'm 14, and am still a virgin. After 5 mi of crying, she tells me she was joking. FML
今天,我回到家,我妈在给医生挂***。我问她怎么了。她说医生在我的血检里面发现了一种性病,然后她说我是个婊子。我14岁而且还是处。大哭了5分钟以后,她告诉我说她只是在开玩笑。FML
Today, my son looked out of the window and said what's that piece of shit doing on our driveway? It was the new car we were trying to surprise him with on his 16th birthday. FML
今天,我儿子望向窗户以外问道:“在车库门前停着的那坨垃圾是毛?”那是我打算送给他的,他16岁生日的新车。FML
Today, a 7 year old girl randomly came up to me and told me to f*** myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom ha ened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to f*** myself as well. FML
今天,一个7岁的陌生小女孩突然走向我,跟我说“滚泥马。”我告诉她注意自己的口气,否则我就告诉她父母。她妈妈就在附近,而且她恰好听到了了我们的对话。于是她突然走向了也我跟我说了句“滚泥马”。FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His re o e was Can't, Platinum just came out. I didn't know what that meant so I searched Platinum 3-22-2009 on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokemon game. FML
今天,我发短信给我的男友,问他到底想不想今天来亲热。他的回复是“不行,白金今天出。”我一开始没听懂,于是我去搜索了一下“白金,2009年3月22号”。结果我发现他是在说最新的口袋妖怪游戏。FML
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She orted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
今天,我人生的第一次——让一个女人看到了我的JJ。我30了。那女的是我的医生。她打了个鼾来盖住她的大笑声,然后道了道歉。FML
Today, I turned 18. Nothing was said at breakfast, but I figured they'd remember and we'd have cake at night. I came home and there was cake, but not for me. My sister got her period for the first time during the day and they were celebrating. A arently, a vaginal discharge was more important. FML
今天,我18岁了。早餐的时候没人吱一声,但是我想他们会记住,晚上我就有蛋糕吃了。我晚上回家看到了一个蛋糕——但是不是给我的。他们是在庆祝我的妹妹第一次月经来潮。很明显,他们认为一次生理反应比我的18岁生日更重要。FML
Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML
今天,我看到了我家新房子的图纸。我的屋子是旁边那个屋子大小的一半。“那个屋子”是我继母的大衣橱。FML
2009-07-29 10:51:51:
(在一片漆黑孤独的环境里面)
  FML!
2009-07-29 10:55:27:
(CRH耻辱号)
  FML!
2009-07-29 10:59:31:
  FML 千千万万遍
2009-07-29 11:05:48:
(大金刚挖)
  不久之后,这里就会被我的种子灌满
  小洞,让我们开始吧。
2009-07-29 11:07:29:
(饭在锅里,兽兽在床上。)
  那我看着你们姐2开始~
2009-07-29 11:08:49:
(马不停蹄的忧伤)
  呵呵
2009-07-29 11:14:12:
(大金刚挖)
  2009-07-29 11:07:29 兽兽·卐解 (每天都在等待,等待我做的菜。)  
  那我看着你们姐2开始~
  回复与日记无关
2009-07-29 11:23:55:
(http://t.sina.com.cn/ran735)
   那我看着你们姐2开始~
2009-07-29 11:28:08:
(←中国红十宇会总会长就是我了)
  FML是什么意思啊到底?·
2009-07-29 11:29:02:
(饭在锅里,兽兽在床上。)
  乐意~
2009-07-29 11:35:07:
  2009-07-29 11:28:08 Encore (有蛇的丛林就是好丛林。)  FML是什么意思啊到底?·
  拜托介位大哥说话前先好好阅读本转帖好伐??!!
2009-07-29 11:41:31:
(书到今生读已迟
索性放手不读书)
  这不是美国版女人帮小组的精华帖么……
2009-07-29 11:43:29:
(大金刚挖)
  2009-07-29 11:28:08 Encore (有蛇的丛林就是好丛林。)  
  FML是什么意思啊到底?·
  请仔细阅读再回复
2009-07-29 11:53:23:
  2009-07-29 11:41:31 糖柯莉安 (07-28 21:57——07-29 03:15)  这不是美国版女人帮小组的精华帖么……
  姐姐,金子在哪里都BLING BLING 啦
2009-07-29 11:56:46:
(年轻时应该去远方)
  FML
2009-07-29 12:02:18:
(CRH耻辱号)
  oday, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His re o e was Can't, Platinum just came out. I didn't know what that meant so I searched Platinum 3-22-2009 on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokemon game. FML
  今天,我发短信给我的男友,问他到底想不想今天来亲热。他的回复是“不行,白金今天出。”我一开始没听懂,于是我去搜索了一下“白金,2009年3月22号”。结果我发现他是在说最新的口袋妖怪游戏。FML
  这个经典。。。
2009-07-29 12:04:51:
(妙妙长得越来越像猫咪先生了~~~)
  这些主人公不写小说真是可惜了。
2009-07-29 12:16:07:
  国外版的糗事百科。。么,莫非是原版
2009-07-29 12:30:16:
(久久长安)
  m
2009-07-29 13:10:14:
  你疯了……
2009-07-29 13:14:02:
(马不停蹄的忧伤)
  每日一帖学英语,8错~
2009-07-29 13:25:36:
(做自己)
  fml
2009-07-29 13:34:25:
(低头便见水中天)
  好玩儿
2009-07-29 14:28:10:
(谈对错太高深)
  FML
2009-07-29 14:53:37:
(......)
  fml
2009-07-29 14:58:34:
(你真逗)
  FML!
2009-07-29 15:48:30:
(北方汉子||见湿一肿王冷静)
  ***FML!
2009-07-29 15:51:41:
  FML!
2009-07-29 16:05:41:
(薛定谔的猫)
  FML
2009-07-29 16:10:28:
  FML
2009-07-29 16:16:37:
(杨沐琪)
  哈哈哈
2009-07-29 16:23:12:
(o(*≧▽≦)ツ┏━┓[拍桌狂笑!])
  操蛋啊
2009-07-29 16:41:43:
(快把毕加索带走吧,我受不鸟呐)
  我发现这网站有点像糗事百科
2009-07-29 16:49:11:
(怎么都睡不够。)
  FML ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~·····
2009-07-29 16:59:50:
(团购小组真害人!)
  哈哈~
  FML!
2009-07-29 17:07:22:
(吃感冒药的小孩是折翼的天屎)
  FML!
2009-07-29 17:13:03:
(被爱包围)
  Today, I sent an email to my best friend, telling him that I'm gay. When I was typing the email addre in the to: field, it autocorrected the addre to my mother. She just re onded: you filthy faggot. FML
  今天,我发了封邮件给我最好的朋友,告诉他我是同志。当我在输入“发送到:”那一栏的时候,系统给我自动更正成了我妈的邮件地址。她只回复了一句:“你这肮脏的蛆虫。”FML
  faggot似乎是骂同志的脏话。
2009-07-29 17:14:13:
  很多是基情,或者偷情被曝光
2009-07-29 17:31:57:
(犯懒儿成疾,需医治~)
  FML
2009-07-29 17:33:47:
  FML
2009-07-29 18:03:43:
(吃感冒药的小孩是折翼的天屎)
  翻译的不是太好
2009-07-29 18:04:15:
(人活着赖着一口氧气。)
  - -妈妈好伤人。
2009-07-29 19:25:27:
(岁月静好)
  FML...
2009-07-29 19:43:51:
  太多了。。
没看完。。
2009-07-29 19:55:12:
($-$|沉下来沉下来)
  fml。
2009-07-29 21:16:19:
(menghui england)
  dude, ur life sucks...
2009-07-29 21:44:17:
(多事之夏)
  然后我就跑那个网站看去了。= =。
2009-07-29 23:52:25:
(安心过日子)
  FML
2009-07-30 02:19:18:
(浪子回头)
  哈哈,这网站太逗了
2009-07-30 08:27:20:
(鬼畜)
  fml
2009-07-30 09:04:45:
  2009-07-29 18:03:43 慘綠青年 (这是最坏的时代)  翻译的不是太好
  个人持相反观点,哈
2009-07-30 09:44:01:
  哈哈哈。。。
2009-07-30 11:55:36:
(~南柯一梦~)
  汗……
2009-07-30 14:09:15:
  FML
2009-07-30 14:41:52:
(女人不骚档次不算高)
  真的是FML
2009-07-30 21:00:12:
(哎呀)
  呵呵
2009-07-31 11:43:25:
(敢触摸青蛙是成为男人的第一步!)
  我转走了呀~
2009-07-31 18:45:14:
(IF 一切都是徒劳)
  Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Tur out they were checking so that they could make love. I witne ed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
  今天,我和我的祖父母睡在一个屋子里面。他们先是来确认我睡没睡着。为了不被责怪成熬夜,我就假装睡着了。结果,他们是想要***,所以才来确认我是不是睡了的。我亲眼目睹了两个70岁老头老太太在我旁边的床上***的情形。FML
  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  最后一句如果是“我亲眼目睹了2个70岁老人在我隔壁的床上***整整20分钟”。会搞笑点。。
2009-08-01 09:32:57:
(4gUsHHyh RzqFZbEL)
  FML
  转了
2009-08-08 02:51:40:
  转!
  顶~
2009-08-11 11:48:22:
(一不小心就烏青了)
  FML
2009-08-11 22:43:26:
(风骚郑在搞,女人传家宝)
  FML……
2009-08-13 15:54:58:
  FML!
2009-08-15 02:41:08:
  都是性?。。。来点不一样的吧
2009-08-21 07:57:46:
(Actually,I'm the fu y one~~)
  上VISTA了都
2009-08-23 21:30:18:
(灿烂的春日)
  很猛 从vista过来。。
2009-08-26 16:38:25:
(Rock climbing)
  OMG
2009-08-26 17:50:45:
(燃烧吧火鸟)
  哈哈哈哈
2009-08-31 12:28:54:
(已注销)
  我也来自VISTA~~
2009-09-17 09:36:41:
(Auld Lang Syne)
  终于搞明白什么叫FML了
2009-09-21 20:48:19:
  《看天下》转了
2009-10-10 11:36:04:
(慌张太慌张了!)
  愿君多踩鞋,此物最像屎
2005-2011 douban.com, all rights reserved』 [八卦江湖]818圈里虚伪明星镜头背后的那些rp操蛋的真事儿,粉黑别来!!
点击:1926618 回复:5325
作者: 发表日期:2011-4-18 22:43:00 !!!!!!!!
姐先咆哮一个,姐来报复社会,报毒圈子了。姐害怕被人肉,所以什么职业啥都不爆啦,昨个没睡着失眠,今儿顶着马甲上来爆料了!!!姐新交的男银是圈里的摄影师,结果昨个不小心看到他和某个和姐关系好的圈内女艺人的暧昧信息,好吧,不仅是暧昧,姐桑心了!姐个操!!姐立马甩之!悲伤了一夜,姐今天不淡定跑天涯爆料来了,把姐知道的一切有关这个肮脏的圈子,那些从骨子里虚伪的明星的那些伪装全部撕开,姐承认,姐对那银用上的是真心,所以姐幻灭了。以前潜水看天涯都是笑而不语,现在,姐来知无不言言无不尽所有我知道的八卦。
想8谁的提问吧,姐今儿不睡,在线满足大家好奇心!!!!有人问姐是干啥的,为啥知道这么多,姐只告诉你,姐是圈里的,但职业什么都不能说,姐还要吃饭还要混的,能说的就是姐跟了个好师傅,还有朋友多,天生八卦细胞好,木有办法,所以生活中就爱跟朋友侃大山,顺便搜集各路明星真实的rp资料,姐只能说,这个圈子很幻灭!
抽了根烟,呛到了,呜,以前从来没抽过烟,好啦,不提这桑心事了,姐先发帖,占楼慢慢八来!
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:45:20
    楼主慢慢说,抽烟伤皮肤~
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:47:23
    ..............
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:49:02
    什么情况?
  那就问一问,刘嘉玲为什么那么有钱啊
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:49:37
    来坐坐!~~等看
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:50:24
    坐等八卦
  ★ 发自天涯iPhone客户端-百读不倦
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:50:47
    抓紧留名,会红吗 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:50:51
    坐等LZ8.LZ请速度。
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:50:58
    谁都可以吗?那就说说最近红得很厉害的吧! 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:51:48
    淡定。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:52:11
    速度……
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:52:13
    会红吗?先留名好了
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:52:53
    预感会红!MARK!
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:53:30
    姐是比较了解港台还是内地呀
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:53:54
    说说双J吧,还有希望不? 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:54:31
    每次哭着喊着要爆料的人还留这么多时间给我们占楼?爽快点会死么? 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:54:35
    m
  ★ 发自天涯iPhone客户端-百读不倦
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:55:13
    哦,来早了。
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:55:13
    额,我想知道圈里谁人品公认的不怎么地,还有到底是谁是同性恋。还有还有难道所有火了的女星都被潜了吗,有例外没 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:55:22
    马克
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:55:22
    继续
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:55:49
    继续占座……想知道谢霆锋这个影帝是怎么来的~~
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:55:52
    小广告这么早就来了啊~~好敬业~~
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:56:09
    还在不呀……话说俺想知道个冷门的……王力可,我最近很心水她,有木有 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:56:27
    有没有料啊?
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:57:01
    楼主 开始吧 在不开始要睡着了
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:57:32
    make
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:57:37
    
  等肥...
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:57:40
    姐哪去啦,抽烟呛的厉害啦 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:57:49
    马克 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:58:11
    想知道安以轩!!楼主快来满足我的好奇心吧!!!为神马她一点不好看却可以演各种美女??!!! 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:58:26
    想知道演员李晨的 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:59:11
    有没有料
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:59:26
    来早了…… 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:59:33
    深情呼唤,天涯怀疑我灌水……伤心…… 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:59:34
    我想问李小露的生活乱不??
  楼主弃贴了??
  ★ 发自天涯iPhone客户端-百读不倦
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:59:50
    楼主 人呢??
  太监啦
 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:59:57
    …………… 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:00:12
    姐哪儿去了?人呢?
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:00:38
    深情呼唤楼主!!快来快来!!快来818安以轩吧!!! 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:01:03
    楼主能说一说MIC男团吗?
  谢谢楼主了 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:01:09
    唐嫣的男朋友是谁 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:01:32
    楼主我撒花迎接你!!来吧来吧8安妹妹吧!! 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:01:39
    那个...娱乐圈真的很乱么?像前几天那个什么8W一夜视频,是真 的?还是真 ?还是真 呢?
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:01:39
    姐 出来咆哮吧
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:01:41
    还没爆? 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:01:53
    大s人真的那么差吗? 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:02:08
    还想问女明星都谁是les,爆点不知道的,韩红管彤就别说了
  ★ 发自天涯iPhone客户端-百读不倦
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:02:09
    占楼开始,姐以前的爱好之一也是上上天涯,只能说,天涯很多爆料是真,也有很多是yy的,所以对天涯儿们的口味也是略有了解的,也知道天涯粉黑纵横的事实,所以,最先开八的就是最容易找粉黑的女银了!
  姐承认姐是故意的,姐希望人来看,姐要发泄姐胸中无限的郁闷啊!!!!姐就是来报复圈子的!姐这个悲催的倒霉蛋,果真这个圈子,那些戏子都是不能信的,姐这次吃亏了,以后再找跟这圈子沾边的男人,姐就是脑袋被门挤了!!!
  OK,正文开始,先上大家最爱的双B事迹好了!!!!!!先说清楚,姐真的不是黑,更不是粉,所以要掐架的滚远点,姐只是把我知道的事说出来,与众天涯儿同乐罢了!!!!!有木有!有木有人要看?!
  LBB,这个莲花教母,大家都熟悉了吧!说实话,这朵号称出淤泥而不染的白莲花红了,但是姐至今还是不知道这银是怎么突然爆红的,仿佛一瞬间,她就成了巨星,一瞬间她就高贵了,一瞬间她就摆脱了她那土气巴拉的气质荣升为美貌与智慧,演技与人气必备的实力派了!姐告诉你,这女人rp超级操蛋!在HY说实话,真的心计深不可测的主,虽然表面每次都说的与世无争,但其实,比谁都会来事!但是,不得不否认,LBB的工作室在HY里吸金能力是非常强的!所以wzl什么是灰常照顾她的,当然,HY出这么大力气捧她背后的原因是什么,天涯儿们已经八过无数次了,这个不用姐赘述!
  她当年开始红的zxt事件,彻头彻尾就是一场炒作!双方都是默许的,当初z人气下滑,又想在内地打开市场,所以找了圈内某个炒作公司策划了这一事件!各位回忆一下,当时这个事件出来的时候,l 有今天的地位吗?那时候,她算哪根葱啊!到如今现在,zx走了之后的HY当家花旦,这女人的地位三级跳都不过分吧!说句实话,为什么我这么讨厌这莲花圣母,就因为这女人太装!姐混着圈子,男盗女娼的见得多了,jp贱人更见得不少了,可我最讨厌的就是装到这个程度的女人,像极了姐这悲催事件里的另一个贱人,md就是伪白兔!
  之前有现场站在看过l 录访谈,那是姐第一次见她,还小激动了一把,想想当时真是年少无知啊!在旁边听她说自己的奋斗史还感动的一愣一愣的,结果节目录完了和师父吃饭,结果我师父就笑我了,说我刚进这圈子,别太相信明星们对镜头前说的那些东西!如果LBB真的这么单纯,啥也不懂从一个小地方出来,连麦当劳都没见过的一个穷学生,能到今时今日的地位,难道背后下了多少工夫还猜不到吗?后来在这圈子浸淫久了,慢慢知道了莲花姐背后那九曲十八弯的故事,姐冷笑了!姐当年真是天真啊!居然相信莲花教母的自我标榜,所以姐至今仍然很讨厌此女!因为她当年hll玩弄了姐白痴的信任!
  对了,她那经纪人明明就是她妹,硬要说是自己的姐姐,莲花大姐啊!你嫩不嫩不要这么虚伪!我承认,这圈子70%的女星年龄作假,可是人家木有每天出来晃着恶心人是不!
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:02:45
    爆。。不爆。。。天涯儿伤不起啊。。速速爆!
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:03:20
    楼主干啥呢干啥呢?
  姚晨跟凌霄肃到底怎谁先出轨?
  刘亦菲是不是被成龙睡了?
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:03:30
    姐骗人!
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:03:41
    哦~~最喜欢爆料贴 坐等
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:03:41
    ~~~~~
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:03:59
    
  作者:520南瓜熊 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:49:02  回复
    什么情况?
    那就问一问,刘嘉玲为什么那么有钱啊
  作者:520南瓜熊 回复日期:2011-04-18 22:49:02  回复
    什么情况?
    那就问一问,刘嘉玲为什么那么有钱啊
  ------------------------楼主呢
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:04:22
    楼主人呢? 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:05:02
    lz没了 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:05:06
    vv
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:05:26
    马克 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:05:54
    呃,姐还是对内地了解的比较多,港台的我会尽量说说,很多都是圈内朋友聊天的时候说的。毕竟我这年纪在这,见得一些重量级的港台明星,大多数还是很有礼有范的样子,背后的秘闻自然不是我这愣头青能直接窥探的,这部分我说的害怕满足不了天涯儿火热的好奇心啊!
  至于这次金像奖神马的,姐是真的不清楚,就算之后有消息什么出来,估计也得一俩月后传到内地这吧!
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:06:13
    八八苏有朋呗 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:06:57
    快 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:07:26
    求八吴奇隆 ,陈志朋,苏有朋 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:07:30
    3
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:07:48
    料出来一个鸟!
  不过这感觉和我对LBB的感脚很像,靠谱!
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:07:51
    咦,前排
  那个我说楼主,你敢不敢不要太多的字母代替,很难猜额,对于我这种新手
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:08:38
    围观
坐等· #183 #183;快速更新啊· #183 #183;
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:09:17
    赶上了。。。
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:09:47
    @倒霉蛋来报复圈子 2011-4-18 22:43:00
   !!!!!!!!
  姐先咆哮一个,姐来报复社会,报毒圈子了。姐害怕被人肉,所以什么职业啥都不爆啦,昨个没睡着失眠,今儿顶着马甲上来爆料了!!!姐新交的男银是圈里的摄影师,结果昨个不小心看到他和某个和姐关系好的圈内女艺人的暧昧信息,好吧,不仅是暧昧,姐桑心了!姐个操!!姐立马甩之!悲伤了一夜,姐今天不淡定跑天涯爆料来了,把姐知道的一切有关这个肮脏的圈子,那些从骨子里虚伪的明星的那些伪装全部撕开,姐承认,姐对那银用上的是真心,所以姐幻灭了。以前潜水看天涯都是笑而不语,现在,姐来知无不言言无不尽所有我知道的八卦。
  想8谁的提问吧,姐今儿不睡,在线满足大家好奇心!!!!有人问姐是干啥的,为啥知道这么多.....
  -----------------------------
  mark
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:10:20
    小板凳前排等八 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:10:31
    来早了
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:10:32
    。。。。。。。。。。。。。
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:10:36
    @倒霉蛋来报复圈子 2011-04-18 23:05:54
  呃,姐还是对内地了解的比较多,港台的我会尽量说说,很多都是圈内朋友聊天的时候说的。毕竟我这年纪在这,见得一些重量级的港台明星,大多数还是很有礼有范的样子,背后的秘闻自然不是我这愣头青能直接窥探的,这部分我说的害怕满足不了天涯儿火热的好奇心啊!
  至于这次金像奖神马的,姐是真的不清楚,就算之后有消息什么出来,估计也得一俩月后传到内地这吧!
  -----------------------------
  8刘亦菲吧。。。一直都不待见她。。。
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:11:20
    首页留名,坐等楼主够昂
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:11:27
    哇 会火 前排
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:11:31
    很好奇前几天张歆艺,贾乃亮和李小璐在微博上那事儿真相!! 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:11:37
    养肥再看
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:11:43
    范冰冰真的很豪爽么? 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:12:07
    同郁闷的某人占座搬板凳看热闹……姐你速度那
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:12:37
    make
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:12:56
    想听刘烨的料,楼主能说说不? 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:12:57
    占楼 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:13:02
    不厚道的想听杨幂
  还有有点好奇刘诗诗这种路人怎么签约唐人进入圈子的
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:13:02
    咋就这么点?姐你多咆哮点啊
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:13:28
    第一次赶上直播 鸡冻
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:13:35
    lz又没了 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:14:28
    lz快~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:15:33
    来早了
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:15:39
    楼主速度快点啊 本来我都要睡了 看见你那么给力特意推迟睡觉时间很有可能被我娘爆骂一顿的说……
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:15:43
    姚晨他们谁先出轨的 我也想知道
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:15:43
    姐速度
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:16:15
    想知道何炅和李维嘉真的搞gay么??? 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:16:23
    3 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:16:43
    坐等
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:16:57
    占座 作者:
 回复日期:2011-04-18 23:17:03
    LZ姐姐知道为啥新海岩剧选了介莫一帮不靠谱的人不? 1
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